


Upperhand

by TreeResin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Angst, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Original Special Operations Squad | Squad Levi, Play Fighting, Romance, Sassy, Squad Leader - Freeform, Strength
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-01-31 09:40:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 25,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18588643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TreeResin/pseuds/TreeResin
Summary: (Y/N) is a Squad Leader in the Survey Corps, alongside Hanji and Levi. Levi and (Y/N) have known each other since starting in the Corps, being close friends, but have grown apart since (Y/N) was promoted to Squad Leader.But what will happen when Levi challenges (Y/N) to a sparring match in front of all the cadets?This was initially a One Shot idea that I've converted to a story (thank you to GracieinaNovel for suggesting this). Hope you enjoy![I do not own any of the AoT characters]Warning: Swearing (lots of it) and eventual smut.





	1. Part 1

Why.

The only question I could ask was why. Why? Why did he ask that? Why me? Why did he think that was a good idea?

I stood there, frozen on the spot. It wasn’t like I’m not used to pressure, I’m a squad leader in the Survey Corps, being under pressure was second nature to me. But this was something else. The way he asked. The way he looked at me with that glint in his eye. He had an ulterior motive, and I knew it.

Regaining my composure and focus, I took a step forward, standing up straight and holding my head high. I wasn’t afraid of him. We’d known each other for so long, I knew he wasn’t as heartless as his face showed. His eyes squinted momentarily as he waited for my response.

“If you wish Captain. It’ll be your funeral.” I said stoically.

A few gasps and murmurs swept across the training ground. By this point, the cadets had stopped their combat training and turned their attention to the Captain and I, whilst a helpless Eren stood to one side, worried where this was heading.

A hint of amusement briefly flickered across Levi’s face as I took another step closer to him. It was a game. Mind games. He knew I could beat him in a fight. Our days training together behind closed doors were long gone, but we both knew we were fairly evenly matched. We’d been friends long enough to know this, sometimes all we could do to pass the time was spar.

So why risk his pride? What does he know?

Reverting back to his usual neutral expression, he stepped forward, his right leg slightly behind so his body was at an angle. _He has no idea what he’s getting himself into here._ Under the watchful gaze of the cadets, I mirrored his stance. I was ready.

Silence engulfed us. No one dared to breathe. The tension was almost painful.

In an instant he moved.

Closing the gap between us, his fist came flying towards my face. _Predictable. Too predictable._ I dodged left, blocking following punch and his kick. He kept up the pace, with me blocking and dodging at an alarming rate. But he was backing me up. _I need an opening. One wrong move and you’re down, Ackerman._

Then I saw it. His last punch left his ribs unguarded, so I took the opportunity to counter. Pushing back, I launched my attack. He manoeuvred around the field, avoiding my moves, until he rolled to a safe distance away.

“Had enough yet?” I taunted. Strolling towards him, where he was still positioned on the ground, his head was hanging low.

But then I saw it. A smirk.

_No. I’m too late._

At that moment, I came hurtling to the ground and landed on my back with a thud. Levi was straddling me, one hand on my shoulder and another on my waist. _Damnit._ His eyes down at me glinted once again. I started to blush at the… compromised… position I was in, but Levi was too busy basking in his ‘victory’ to notice.

“And that Eren, is how you gain the upper hand in an evenly matched fight.” Levi proclaimed, his trademark hint of boredom gracing his words. “You may have the same skill level as them, but if you maintain your focus and wait for the right moment…”

He was right. You need the right moment. And he just gave it me.

Whilst Levi was lecturing Eren, I’d managed to position myself beneath him where I could move. And from there, I’d gotten Levi on his back, reversing our former position.

“What was that Levi? Don’t let me stop you. You were saying something about being focused and waiting the right moment? ” I jeered down at him. Some cadets looked at us in awe, a few braver ones attempted to conceal their laughter. His face lit up with anger. _Shit. I’ve done it now._

But before I could face Levi’s wrath caused by my humiliation of him, Hanji ran up to us and dragged me away, blabbering on about some experiment or something.

Whilst being hauled back inside, I took one last glance at Levi. All the cadets were back to their combat training, yet Levi stared me down intently, a fearful Eren not wanting to be the subject of Levi’s rage. I smirked, knowing I’d riled him up, and I sauntered back inside so I could deal with Hanji before nightfall. The girl was great, but boy could she talk.

What I didn’t know was that I should have stayed with her as long as possible. Anything would’ve been better than facing Levi’s wrath that evening.


	2. Part 2

\--- (Y/N) ---

I managed to escape Hanji, after almost 5 hours of her explaining titan theories and her plans for her experiments, complemented with her diagrams on how to capture titans efficiently.

It was almost 1am, and all the cadets were in their rooms, resting for tomorrows training and cleaning. There was no one around.

But there was an issue. To get to my room, I’d need to pass Levi’s room. And knowing this insomniac, he’d still be awake and waiting for my return. After the look he gave me on the training ground, I knew I was in deep, deep shit. _What’s the worst that can happen?_ I ask myself unconvincingly. Despite being friends, you’d been on the wrong side of Levi before and it was not fun. It resulted in almost a week of not talking and a hell of a lot of cleaning before he would even consider looking at me. So, I knew that something was bound to go wrong. But I needed my sleep. I was going to have to risk it.

Sighing, I set off from Hanji’s office. Moving quickly and quietly, I made my way through the maze of corridors that made up the Survey Corps Headquarters. It wasn’t a massive place, but it didn’t need to be considering how you’d have to be an idiot to sign up. Not only that, those who went out on missions rarely returned. It was brutal out there, and everyone knew it. But we are fighting for our freedom, and that’s all that matters. Being free.

Pulling myself from my thoughts, I noticed I was nearing Levi’s room. _Not that far now, pass this bit and we’re home free._ Keeping my head low, I quickly scurried past, silently praying not to hear the creak of his door and see the light that would illuminate the hallway. I mentally prepared myself for a sprint, shoving my hand in my pocket so I could grasp my key and run if the time came.

But it never came.

It surprised me. He was always up at this time. Maybe he’d forgotten? Or maybe he just didn’t care. Saves me some trouble anyway. Relieved, I make it back to my room in one piece, my heart still pounding from the tension a few moments ago.

But part of me wanted to see him. I wanted his door to open, and for him to drag me inside and yell at me. Hell, even hit me. Since I became a squad leader, I saw less and less of him. I’d spent so much time with Levi, I was a new recruit when Levi was captured and enlisted from the underground, and I was the only one who was there when he lost his friends – no, his family – on his first mission outside the walls. It didn’t matter what the circumstances were, his presence almost always calmed me. I liked being around him. Sometimes I’d get this sinking feeling in my chest, and my stomach would flutter…

My thoughts stopped as I opened my door. He’s here. Sat on the edge of my bed. His eyes boring into me. I froze. _No. No. I take it back. This is not calming. This is definitely not calming at all._

“Are you gonna stand there all day, gaping like an idiot? Or are you going to come in?” He asked me. Hesitating, I shook myself mentally and stepped in and closed the door.

“Sorry, I wasn’t necessarily expecting you in my room at 1am, **sir** , not exactly standard procedure, is it?” I retorted. A silence fell over both of us as we stared each other down, neither of us wanting to lose.

Then, out of nowhere, ignoring my previous statement, he spoke “What was that today?”. A breathy laugh escaped my throat. “What do you mean? You mean when I kicked your ass in front of the cadets? Because I think if you remember, it was you who started that. So, if anyone is to blame for your humiliation, it’s you. Ever heard of the phrase ‘pick your battles wisely’?” We fell into silences once again, our eyes never leaving each other.

“That’s not what I meant, brat.” He responded.

_Not what you meant?_ “Well, sorry to disappoint, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I told him bluntly.

“You blushed.” He said.

I hesitated. _Shit_. “You’re not making any sense Levi. Use full sentences or else we’ll be here all night.” I snapped.

Seeing he’d struck a nerve, he stood up and stepped closer to me. “You blushed. Whilst we were fighting. I had your arrogant ass on the ground, underneath me, and your face lit up like a tomato. And you know you did, or else you wouldn’t be as defensive as you are.” He told me. My heart was pounding, and I my breathing got heavier. _Crap, I didn’t think it was that bad. I thought he hadn’t seen. Why, why did I do that? It’s not even something I did consciously…_

“(Y/N)? Did you hear me? Your silence is irritating.” He questioned. _What did he ask?_ I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t even hear him.

“Well, maybe if you spoke up, I’d be able to hear you.” I threw back at him, my eyes like daggers looking at his calm and collected face.

“I said, idiot, why? Why did you blush?” He asked, taking a few small steps closer to me. I began backing up slowly, but I hit the wall. He had me on the ropes, and we both knew it. His face stopped inches from mine, but my gaze never wavered. _This is a game. He’s enjoying it too much. I’m not giving in._

Taking a deep breath, I smirked “So what if I did? What does it matter to you, Captain Levi?” We were so close now that I could feel his breath on my face, his breathing becoming heavier the closer he got. My question caught him off guard slightly, and his eyes widened slightly. But then his eyes flickered to my lips and back up again, and he realised his mistake.

My smirk widened at his action. “What do you want, Levi? Are you sure about what you saw? Because it seems it’s not me that’s blushing”. Using my new found confidence, I tilted my head bit my lip slightly, eyes narrowing. I was turning him on, and he couldn’t deny it.

We stood like that for a few moments, eye locked, close together. Levi gulped, and with that broke eye contact and stepped back. “Nothing brat. Now move out of the way. We’ve got training tomorrow and I have better things to be doing than standing here.”  He told me, regaining the eye contact, but he knew he’d lost. He came here with the upperhand, and would be leaving on the losing side.

“Sure thing Levi, have a nice evening. Wouldn’t want me to come between you and your paperwork, now would we?” I taunted seductively as I stepped to the side, away from the door frame.

With a click of his tongue, he moved towards the door and opened it. But he paused in the doorway and turned to look at me. He seemed to be contemplating something, yet he shook his head lightly. “Night, brat.” He said, as he left, shutting the door a little harder than intended.

Smirking at the space he occupied moments ago, I let my mind wander. _We couldn’t, could we? It’s just a game. He’s bored._ Despite this, I couldn’t deny the feeling in my chest, and my mind couldn’t shake the high I got just from being near him.

\--- Levi ---

What did I just do? I don’t even know why I went there. I was so pissed off earlier that I wanted to yell at her and tell her she was an idiot, that I did that because I was teaching the brats a lesson, and she messed it up unnecessarily. I was meant to assign her to cleaning the stables for the rest of the month.

But I saw her, her hair tousled, her tired, (E/C) eyes and my mind went blank. I thought back to our public sparing session, and I remembered the blush that rose on her cheeks as I lay above her. I wanted to know. Did she want me? Did I want her? Could we even… no. _Don’t be ridiculous. Focus._ _She doesn’t want you, she’s just playing games. She couldn’t like me that way, we’ve been friends for years. Friends. Don’t ruin that Levi._

That night I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Being close to her. It was intoxicating. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.


	3. Part 3

\--- (Y/N) ---

Morning finally arrived after a long and restless night. Sighing, I swing my legs over the edge of my bed, and rub my eyes, trying to disguise the bags under my eyes from my sleepless night. _What was I even thinking? I don’t know what came over me. Please don’t let this be awkward today, that’s the last thing I need right now._ After willing up the motivation to move, I stood up out of bed, showered and dressed, and made my way to the mess hall for breakfast.

By the time I’d arrived, cadets were starting to file in and pick up their breakfast. As I glanced over to my table, where the Commander and other leaders sat, I saw Hanji beaming at me, waving me over. As I glanced to her left, I made eye contact with Levi. His eyes bore into me, almost making my knees go weak. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ Blinking away my thoughts, I put on a smile and made my way over, plonking myself in front of Hanji, who’d already begun telling me about her plans for the day.

But I couldn’t concentrate. I could feel his eyes on me, searching for answers. But when I plucked up the courage to face him, he was looking away, eating and reading his papers. _Strange_ , I thought.

“So, do you want to come with me? It’ll be so much fun!” Hanji snapped me out of my thoughts. _Shit, not again. What did she ask? I need to stop doing this._

“Erm, sure. I’ve got ODM training with my squad this morning, followed by a meeting with Erwin, but after than I’ve got nothing but paperwork. And I’m sure I can catch up at some point this evening.” I agreed, still unsure of what she’d asked me to do.

“I had no idea you’d say yes! Thank you so much! We leave 3pm, it shouldn’t take us that long to capture a titan!” she beamed. _Crap how did I not guess. What I have I done._ I glanced towards Levi who gave me a quizzical look, which quickly shifted to amusement as he realised I hadn’t heard what she said, and was as confused as he was. _Well, this is going to be a long day._

 

\--- Levi ---

I looked at her, puzzled. _Why did she just agree to go titan capturing with Hanji? She never says yes to those things._ But then it hit me. _She zoned out. She didn’t hear what she said. Tch, idiot._ At that moment, Hanji excitedly left the table, rambling about prepping her new titan-capturing gear. Leaving only me, and (Y/N). An awkward silence settled over the two of us. _Do I say something? Do I bring it up, or forget it happened?_ As if she could read my thoughts, she spoke. “Shit, why did I just do that?”

“Do what?” I asked in a bored manner. I knew exactly what she meant, I just knew it’d wind her up.

“You know what dipshit, agree to go titan capturing with Hanji. And anyway, why didn’t you help me out? Usually you help me in those situations, and you sat there pretending to read your fucking papers.” She spat.

“How did you know I was **pretending** to read my papers?” I enquired, my eyes remaining glued to the paperwork in front of me.

“Because I was looking at you moro….” She halted mid-sentence. _She was looking at me? Why was she doing that?_ I lifted my head to look at her and raised my eyebrow. She was blushing again. She’d realised what she’d said and didn’t know what to do with herself.

“Oh, you were looking at me, were you? And why on Earth were you doing that?” I flirted. _She’s really red now._ She remained in silence, staring me down. “What, nothing to say? ‘Cat got your tongue’? Or is it that you can’t say it,” I switched to a whisper, “because it’s not something that’s … appropriate … for you to tell me in the mess hall?” I leant forwards slightly, my eyes never leaving hers. He expression was torn between flustered and angered, as she frantically searched for a response. _Tch, this is karma for last night. Now you get to know how it feels to be put on the spot, you brat._

“No, you moron, I was looking at you because you had something on your face. I thought you were meant to be a clean freak?” She almost shouted.

“Hm. Sure.” I retorted sarcastically. Seething with anger, she glared at me and got up to leave. “Oh and (Y/N)?” She paused, turning her head slightly to look at me. “Next time, you might want to come up with a better excuse for why you were drooling over me.” I say seductively.

Shooting me daggers, she retorted “you wish, asshole”, then spun around and left the room swiftly.

 _Tch. That girl_. No one else dared speak to me that way. They either respected me too much or feared me. But not (Y/N). _I don’t know how I’d cope without her here._ Finishing my tea, I left the room to start my day, my mind still whirling from my ‘heated’ conversation with (Y/N).

 

\--- (Y/N) ---

 _That asshole! Who does he think he is! Urgh he just infuriates me! How could I have possibly thought of us together. How did I consider it? He’s a conceited, arrogant, muscular, flawless douchebag! Shit!_ I make my way back to my room, throwing myself into my chair.

“Fuck!” I scream. Letting my anger seep out of me, I take deep breaths and try to calm down. _Don’t let him win. Don’t let him get into your head. It’s just a game. A game. He’s doing this on purpose._ I sigh and try and clear my head. I can’t think about him right now. I’ve got to get ready for training, I’m meeting my team in a few minutes. _Breathe, and forget about it. I’ll get him back at some point. I know I will._

_Game on._


	4. Part 4

\--- (Y/N) ---

“Hanji, we’ve been here for hours. Surely this can wait until another day? Any longer and it’ll be dark.” I complained.

“No we still have hours of daylight left! We can’t abandon this now! You agreed to help me, remember?” She told me. I sighed. She’s right, this is my fault. I should’ve paid more attention.

I’d tried to convince Hanji to capture a titan at night, but she told me the chances of getting a titan back towards the wall at night were slim. She needed a moving titan, and wanted to lure one closer to the wall, where she had a trap set next to the gate. Currently we were crouched on the roofs of an abandoned village, just south of the eastern city Karanese.

We hadn’t seen a titan yet, which was weird. Usually the number of titans are concentrated in the south, so there wouldn’t be loads here, but it was still unusual not to see any. We’d decided heading out of the southern gate would be too dangerous, so we set out of the eastern gate in hopes we wouldn’t be overwhelmed. But so far, it was quite the opposite.

Unfortunately for Hanji, Moblit and I, the two other recruits we’d brought with us couldn’t seem to get along. They’d been bickering the whole way to the village, and I was about to lose it if they continued with their petty arguing. I couldn’t even tell you what they were arguing about, but they both seemed to want to one-up the other, and prove they were the best. But frankly, I was getting sick of their shit.

Since there were no titans around, Hanji and Moblit headed to the ground to plot the fastest route back to the trap they’d set. Meaning I was left with Dumb and Dumber on the roof. We were each watching a side, me looking to the south, and the idiots to the east and north. Or, at least they were supposed to be.

“Hah, like she’d even look at you. You can’t even complete the morning laps you fat shit. No, she’s more interested in me, clearly.” Sam, the blonde one, said.

“You’re such an arrogant shit, I’m surprised you can see with your head that far up your ass. She wouldn’t even pick you even if her life depended on it. I don’t think she’d cope being second best, since all you care about is yourself!” The shorter, brunette called Murphy said.

“Oh, brave words from a midget. Want to back those up? Oh, wait you can’t, because you ranked last in combat training. You’re a liability, why would she want to be with someone who wouldn’t be able to survive an expedition outside the walls?” Sam said threateningly.

_I’m done with this already._ I was about to stop their testosterone-fuelled bickering when felt it. The ground shaking. Like something was running. Something big. Hanji had noticed it too, as she looked up from her route plan. I turned to my left, to see a titan almost on us.

But the idiots hadn’t noticed.

“TITAN ON THE EAST SIDE! MOVE NOW!” I shout. This brings the boys out of their bubble, and arrogance is replaced by fear. It was close now and gaining fast. Hanji and Moblit were already on their horses and I ran towards the two recruits, dragging them behind me as they were frozen in fear. Murphy seemed to snap out of his daze and engaged his ODM as he swung down from the roof to his horse. But Sam was stood, frozen to the spot, staring at the titan charging us down. _Crap, I can’t leave him here._ “Hanji go! I’ve got this! We’re right behind you” I shouted down. She looked like she wanted to protest, but she began moving anyway. With this, I turned my attention back to the boy.

“Oi! Come on we need to go!” I yelled at him. But he didn’t move. He was transfixed by the titan that was right on us. Instinctively, I ran and pushed him out of the way before the titan could snatch him up. We both went barrelling across the rooftop, and I stared down into his fear-filled eyes.

“Get your ass up or we’re both gonna die out here!” I shout, pulling him up and dragging along the roof as fast as possible. The near miss seemed to spark something inside him, and he began running next to me. Weaving in and out of the houses, we managed to put some distance between us and the titan. But not enough.

In front of us I could see Hanji, Moblit and the other recruit heading back towards the gate, a red flare being fired. We’d reached our horses, but there was a problem; Sam’s had gone. _Shit!_ I cursed internally. Sam had noticed our predicament too, and his eyes welled up. _I can’t leave him here._

“Go.” I commanded.

The boy looked at me in shock. “W-what?” he asked.

“GO NOW!” I yell, and he nodded and jumped down onto his horse, as I turned around to see the titan close again. _I need a plan. I need to be able to use my ODM._ Scanning the area, I noticed a set of trees to the right of us. _It’s further from the gate, but if I stand any chance of surviving, I need to get to those trees._ My mind made up, I set off.

\--- Levi ---

I was sat atop of the wall and was able to see the village Hanji had chosen for her lookout point in the distance. I don’t know why I came to be honest. It was enough hassle getting the ODM on, let alone getting up to the top of the wall.

I usually didn’t care for Hanji’s titan experiments, but I was amused that (Y/N) had dropped herself into helping her. _She’s such an idiot sometimes._ I smirked slightly at the thought of her, then brushed it off quickly. _You don’t actually like her. No. She’s a friend. Don’t think of her any other way, you’ll only get yourself into more trouble._

But then I noticed something. _A red flare_. _Wait, that doesn’t mean…_ I stood up quickly and looked at the scene in front of me. A group of three riders were hastily making their way back to gate. Then there was another, further back but gaining on the others. _There was 5 of them that left._ _I only count four._ Then I looked to the village and saw a titan, and someone zipping towards the trees that lay behind the houses.

_No. That can’t… its not her. It’s not. She wouldn’t._

But as the others approached, my stomach dropped. _Shit! What is she doing!_ I instinctively jumped off the wall, back into Karanese, and ran to my horse. _She needs help. I need to help her._ Mounting my horse, I set off at full speed towards (Y/N).

\--- (Y/N) ---

_Fuck. That was close._ I was moving in and out of the trees, using my ODM to try and lose the titan. But it wasn’t working. It’d lost interest in the others, who I suspect would be almost at the gate by now, if not there already. _As long as they’re alive, it doesn’t matter. You know when you join the Scouts some lives are more important than others. I knew what I was getting myself into._ Pulling up, I launch myself in the air as the titan tries to grasp my wires.

_Close. Too close. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up, the further I get away from the wall, the harder it will be to get back, and the more likely I’ll run into another titan. And a 2 vs 1 doesn’t sound appealing at all._  

But I needed a plan. I couldn’t do this all day, and I wasn’t sure how much gas I had left. Turning left, then right, I tried to lose the titan. But then, out of nowhere, a 3 metre launched itself at me, causing me to lose my balance and slam into a tree branch. _Crap!_ Dazed from the impact, I scrabbled to get into the tree. I looked at my ODM, and it was bent in on the left side, my leg bleeding as the metal gear stabbed into me. _Well shit. Now I’m truly screwed. A_ s I got up on the branch, I looked down to see they were underneath me. Smiling up at me. _If the 4m jumps, I’m toast. And I’m stuck here. I guess this is it. I’ll fight till the end._

I closed my eyes and gripped my swords, preparing myself to attack if they moved. But I heard a whizzing noise, and a wet thunk followed by a slice. Then the branch shook lightly as someone joined me.

Opening my eyes, I couldn’t believe who I saw in front of me.

\--- Levi ---

She looked at me in shock, clutching to the tree trunk as blood poured out of her leg. _She’s alive._ But once relief washed over me, rage took over.

“What the hell (Y/N)!” I growled at her, closing the distance between us. My anger seemed to shake her out of her shock, and she gave me a look of disbelief.

“What do you mean, ‘what the hell’, Levi? I was fine! I was doing my job!” She shouted back.

“A ‘thanks for saving me, Levi’ would be appreciated. Unless it was your plan to get yourself eaten? It’s nice that your considerate to the diet of titans, touching really, but I’d appreciate it if you’d give me some warning first.” I shot back sarcastically, which seemingly hit a nerve in (Y/N).

“Are you joking?! I was trying to stop one casualty from becoming five, I made a judgement call, and everyone else made it back. So get off your high horse, asshole. You didn’t need to come here, and to be honest I’m not quite sure why you did. I did what I had to do, so don’t give me shit for doing my job, _Captain Levi._ ” She spat back with fury.

I was taken aback by her words.  My thoughts flickered to what I saw. “How did this even happen, this was supposed to be a capture mission?”

But she just laughed. “Does it matter? It happened. They’re alive. We carry on. I don’t know why you're hung up on this, Levi. It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d died here. Life goes on.” She tells me matter-of-factly.

“Is this a joke to you? You think I like losing people?” I ask in disbelief. _How can she think her death wouldn’t matter?_

“No. But you get over it. You move on. It wouldn’t be any different with me.” She pauses. “You didn’t need to come here. Why did you? Why were you even in Karanese, you don’t give a shit about Hanji’s capture missions?” She questioned suspiciously.

I hesitate and look at her. When I saw her up here, injured, but determined to fight nonetheless, it hit me why I came after her. Why I came to Karanese in the first place. But I couldn’t tell her. I ignored her questioning and nodded towards her injured leg. “We need to get back. Your leg needs looking at.” I stated, as I approached her, extending my arm and wrapping it around her waist.

As I pulled her close, she flinched and moved away slightly. Initially I thought it was pain, but as I studied her face, the red dusting on her cheeks indicated it wasn’t.

_Hm._ “Will you stop being a stubborn shit for once? Unlike some people, I don’t have any plans to get eaten today, and with your leg like that, I see no other way of getting you down. Unless your adamant you want to stay here?” I ask her, tilting my head and narrowing my eyes. She eyes me suspiciously, then rolls her eyes and sighs, moving back towards me.

I pull her close, and smirk internally as I lower us down from the tree to my horse. I try to help her get on my horse, but she pushes me away, and with a pain-filled grunt she positions herself.

Rolling my eyes at her stubbornness, I get on the horse behind her, and take the reins, my forearm brushing hers. Involuntarily, my heart races at the contact, but I shake the thoughts out of my head and focus on getting us back safely.


	5. Part 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry! Was meant to write this earlier, but I've had a bit of a mare this week.  
> Also I apologise that it's a bit short, it's a bit of a filler this one but I promise I'm trying to build to something!  
> Thanks for your patience!

\--- (Y/N) ---

I was currently sat in my bed back at HQ, bored out of my mind. Once we’d reached the wall, Levi informed Hanji he was taking me back to be checked by the doctor, and we set off right away. The whole journey was done in silence. We hadn’t spoken to each other since we’d got back through the gate.

_I hate this. I can’t be stuck in here. I’m going insane._ The doctor said I had concussion from hitting the tree, along with some bruised ribs, and I had to rest for at least two days. With that being yesterday, I had one day left. But under the orders of both the doctor and Erwin, I wasn’t allowed to leave. Whilst I wasn’t necessarily on my own, due to the cadets bringing me food and water whenever I needed it, and Hanji coming in to either apologise or tell me about more of he titan experiments, I was getting sick of being bedbound.

To make things worse, I hadn’t even seen Levi since we got back. Once we got to the infirmary, he shot off and I haven’t seen him since. I sighed. _Who am I kidding. He saved my life, and I treated him like shit. This is my fault, I pushed him away. He may be an asshole but I should’ve at least thanked him for what he did. I wouldn’t be here otherwise._ As much as I hated to admit it, I missed him. I don’t think I’d ever gone this long without seeing him, and whenever I thought about him my chest tensed with longing. _God you need to stop this, (Y/N). You can’t. One, I don’t even think he’s interested in you that way, and two, Erwin wouldn’t allow it. You’re a soldier. A Squad Leader at that. You’ve got more important things to be doing than daydreaming about Levi._

At that moment, Hanji burst into the room, shocking me out of my thoughts.

“Jesus Christ Hanji! What’d that door ever do to you?” I scowl. Hanji only laughed.

“Hey don’t be such a grouch! I came here to see my best friend and that’s how you treat me? Maybe you’ve been spending too much time with Levi…” She says raising her eyebrows suggestively at me.

“Ha. Small chance of that, considering I’ve not seen him since the incident.” I say, with a tinge of sadness.

Hanji gives me a small smile. “He’ll come around. He’s just pissed off at the moment, but knowing him he won’t be able to stay away too long…” Hanji smirks. I look at her confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I question.

“Oh, nothing important. You’re just such _close_ friends, he can’t stay mad at you forever.” Hanji said with a small smile on her face, mischief in her eyes.

_What does she know? What does she mean by that? Surely if Levi cared… No. He doesn’t care. Stop it. You’re making things worse. He’s not here, and he’s not coming-_

“-Earth to (Y/N)? I said are you coming to the meeting tomorrow? Has Erwin cleared you for training?” Hanji asked.

“Y-yeah I’ll be there. I wanted to be back today, but they wouldn’t let me. I swear I’m fine, but Erwin said he doesn’t need me back until I’m at full fitness.” I say.

Hanji beams at me. “Good! Because I have an experiment planned for Eren, and it’s going to be amazing!” Hanji starts, and continues to ramble at me. But my mind keeps drifting back to what Hanji said. _‘Knowing him he won’t be able to stay away too long…’ What could that mean?_

\--- Levi ---

Sat in my office, I stared at the paperwork in front of me. This was one of the worst things about my job. I didn’t sign up for all this crap. Taking a deep breath, I lean back and stare at the ceiling.

_I should go see her. No. I shouldn’t. It’s not my place. I was too harsh yesterday, and I knew it. I had the whole journey to apologise and I didn’t. I didn’t even say anything to her. We’re supposed to be friends… close friends at that. I was an asshole, again. She won’t want to see me. She was right, she was doing her job. But I couldn’t let her go just yet, I haven’t told her-_

“LEVIIII!” Hanji yells as she enters my room like a whirlwind. I mentally curse at her unnecessary volume and eccentric entrance.

“What Hanji.” I ask, rolling my eyes at her.

“Why on Earth have you not been to see (Y/N)! I thought you were going to tell her how you feel!” Hanji asks me.

I click my tongue and look away from her, back down to my desk. _Goddamn Hanji. How did she know?_ “I’m busy. I’m sure I’ll see (Y/N) at some point when she’s back at training, but for the time being-” I try to shrug her off, but she interrupts. 

“What! But now’s the perfect time! When do we ever have time on our hands? This is the best opportunity you’re going to get!” 

“Nobody has any free time or privacy with you around Hanji, considering you clearly don’t understand the concept of knocking.” I glare at her.

Hanji huffs. “Honestly you two are impossible. It’s been quite obvious for a while now that you two like each other, so why not go for it? Life’s short! And you can’t deny it, Shorty, after the way you rushed after her yesterday.” She says, raising her eyebrows at me. I just look at her, deadpan.

Hanji sighs in anguish. “I don’t know what else to do! Tell me Levi, do you like her?” She questions.

I hesitate. “I wouldn’t have been her friend this long if I didn’t, now would I” I say sarcastically, avoiding her questioning. Hanji only glares back, tilting her head to one side. We resumed the silence, until Hanji gave in, rolling her eyes and turning around. I return my attention to my paperwork, but before Hanji leaves the room, she turns back to me. “You’re going to have to tell her at some point, because I heard a rumour that someone else is going to tell her how they feel about her. So who knows what will happen?” Hearing this, my head shoots up and I look at Hanji, my eyes widening slightly. She smirks at me, and closes the door after her, leaving me staring at the door, my thoughts circling rapidly around my head.

_Shit. Who? Is she making it up? It seems like something she’d do. But what if she’s not? And what if they ask her and she says yes? Fuck._ I run my hands through my hair. _This just got more complicated._

\--- Hanji ---

_That should be enough to get the ball rolling._ Levi and (Y/N) had always been close, but recently they’d been a lot more… _flirtatious_ … with each other. At first I thought it was a joke I’d missed. They both have known each other for so long and they have the same sense of humour, it wasn’t impossible. But then after seeing them at breakfast the other day, I knew something was going on.

And it was Levi who gave it away. Usually he’d ignore me, but that morning he took a particular interest in mine and (Y/N)’s conversation, to the point where he was pretending to read his paper. It was only confirmed when Levi turned up to watch the titan experiment. He’d never done that before. And there was only one correlation; (Y/N). And he had it bad. He loved her, whether he could admit it or not. I was pretty good at spotting this stuff, I’ve always had a knack for observation.

_Now only time will tell whether they’ll open up to one another._ A mischievous, almost evil cackle escaped me as I sauntered down the corridor.


	6. Part 6

\--- (Y/N) ---

I straightened my uniform in the mirror in front of me, ready to set off to the mess hall. _I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited for breakfast; no, scratch that, this excited to leave my fucking room._ Whilst I’d been recovering over the past couple of days, I hadn’t left these four walls. And If I stayed here any longer, then I’d lose my mind. Ignoring the dull ache from my ribs, I unlocked the door and made my way down the corridor.

Once I got to the mess hall, Hanji, Levi and the others were already seated at the table. Hanji noticed me, smiled and gave me a wave, beckoning me over. _God, feels like déjà vu._ I smiled back and traipsed over to them, setting myself down in front of Hanji, with Levi to my left. For a moment, Levi seemed to tense at my presence, but as quickly as I noticed, it was gone.

“(Y/N)! It’s good to see you up again! How’s your concussion? Oh and your ribs? Did I say I was sorry already? If not, I’m sorry for what happened to you-” Hanji spoke quickly.

“Hanji… HANJI. I’m fine. I promise. Right as rain.” I interrupt, giving her a warm smile. A look of relief washes over her face, and she flits her eyes towards Levi, smirking slightly.

“Well, I have a busy day so I’m going to be off, have fun you guys and I’ll see you at the meeting later!!” Hanji said as she bounded off towards the door, whilst both Levi and I gave her a questioning look. As she took off, the others at the table began to leave too. Eventually, it was only Levi, Erwin and I at the table, in silence.

Suddenly the Commander cleared his throat as he stepped up from his seat on the bench. “Squad Leader (L/N), I was wondering if you were free later?” Erwin asked, warmth in his eyes. At first I was surprised by this question, but more so by Levi’s reaction; he’d tensed up next to me, his eyes fixated on his paper, gripping his teacup.

“Erm… yes, Sir, I am. May I ask why?” I respond.

“Oh, it’s nothing to be concerned about. Is after the meeting a good time?” He asks again. Stuttering slightly, I agree and he thanks me, placing his large hand on my shoulder and giving me a soft smile before he turns and leaves. Leaving only me and an unmoving Levi at the table.

\--- Levi ---

_Fuck. What does Erwin want? Why was he looking at her like that? Does he like her? No. He wouldn’t. Surely. Surely? Why is he meeting her on her own? I don’t like the sound of that. It’s a weird reque- He just put his hand on her shoulder. He never does that. Ever. Now they’re staring at each other. Shit. Shit. Did Hanji mean Erwin? Did she know that Erwin was going to ask her out? It’s too much of a coincidence. But does she like him back? Because if she did, I wouldn’t be able to get in the way…_

_She never said anything about him though. Not like that anyway. No. She mustn’t. I’d notice something like this. If she did, I would know. She’d either tell me, or I’d notice from her reactions. Or would I? Fuck what do I do now? I need to up my game._

“Levi? Are you ok there? I’m not sure what the teacup ever did to you, but you might want to stop taking it hostage. Either that or try to stop burning holes in your newspaper. I don’t know if you’d realised, but just because they label you ‘Humanity’s Strongest Soldier’, it doesn’t actually give you superpowers.” She states, leaning forward to look at me, squinting her eyes suspiciously.

Shaking myself from my daze, I turn to look at her. “Tch, brat. I’ll do what I want, thank you. I was just concentrating because I couldn’t hear myself think over you and your loud mouth.” He retorts, returning to the playful tone they were so accustomed to.

“Jesus, what were you concentrating on? Ways to kill your enemies?” She questions.

_Something like that._ I thought. _Wait, no. Erwin isn’t my ‘enemy’. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not a fight or anything. Get a grip, Levi._

“Yeah, well what if I was thinking about ways to shut you up? I’ve had a few days without your incessant whining, and I already miss it after 10 whole minutes.” He responds. We both look at each other, neither one wanting to lose. _God, I missed this._

“Tch, let’s be real Levi, you wouldn’t last an hour without me. You love the sound of my voice-” She stopped herself. Her eyes widened as she noticed me smirking at her, catching her off guard as she turns red.

“Oh really, do I now? And what makes you think that” I say, my voice turning to a whisper as I lean closer to her. He face is tinged with red, and her eyes still wide as she tries to scramble a response in her head. I tilt my head at her lack of response, challenging her.

“I-I mean, it’s you that spends all your time with me. You finished your breakfast ages ago, and yet your still here. And I’m the only other person at the table. ”

“And you think the reason I stayed is you? Funny. I actually stayed to finish my tea, but now I’m intrigued to know why _you_ think I stayed for _you_.” I question her, my voice sultry. I was so close now that my leg brushed against hers. She shivered at the touch, causing me to glance down.

“I didn’t realised you missed me that much, (Y/N)” I say, gesturing to her leg, then resting my hand on her thigh. She tried to shuffle sideways slightly, clearing her throat and looking at the wall ahead, her lips pursed together in weak defiance. “We were only apart for a day or two, I didn’t think I’d had that big of an impact on you. Pity, I thought you were stronger to be honest.” I smirk at her. I leave my hand on her leg, then remove it slowly, running it lightly up her thigh as she tenses under my touch.

I fold my newspaper, finish up my tea with one gulp then stand up. But when I get behind her, I lean and whisper into her ear. “I’ll see you later, (Y/N)” I whisper seductively, and leave without looking back. I didn’t have to. I knew she was looking at me.

_That’ll give her something to think about. Beat that, Erwin._

\--- (Y/N) ---

_What._

_The._

_Fuck._

_Just happened._

I was still frozen to the spot, staring at him as he left, my eyes wide. A dull heat was diminishing from my lower area, sparked by Levi’s touch on my thigh. He touched me and I just lost all brain function. I didn’t expect it, not this soon. We haven’t spoken in days.

Hanji was right, he did come around. And quickly.

_Levi’s right. I need to be stronger than that. He literally touched me and I melted into his palm. I should have resisted. Grr, I can’t believe I didn’t fight back. That smug prick. He’s not gonna know what hit him next time I see him._

Then an idea popped into my head. _The meeting_. Whilst Levi’s actions were definitely bold, being in front of the cadets in the mess hall, he waited until everyone at the table had left. _He always does. It’s always just the two of us._ I smirked and considered whether I should or not.

_Fuck it. Let’s see how strong you are under the spot, Ackerman._ Smiling to myself, I finish my breakfast and leave to start my day, plotting my revenge.


	7. Part 7

\--- Levi ---

The meeting was held in Erwin’s office as per usual. There was a table set up, with chairs on either side, and Erwin’s seat at the head. Meetings weren’t anything out of the ordinary; every two weeks all the squad leaders would meet up to discuss the progress for the next expedition. Each team had specific assignments, and once we got closer to the date, we’d discuss routes and tactics. Usually they were pretty boring.

Currently, there was only Erwin and I that had arrived, but soon after there was a knock and Hanji, (Y/N) and the other three squad leaders appeared. After saluting the Commander, everyone took their seats. I’d decided to sit on the end furthest from Erwin so I could zone out without too much hassle. But when I looked next to me, I was surprised to see (Y/N) next to me, speaking to Hanji on the other side of her. _Weird. I swear she usually sits next to Marlene on the other side._ Pushing my thoughts to one side, I sat back in my chair as the meeting began.

It was the usual shit, teams reporting in on their squads and their progress, and clarifying their positions for the upcoming expedition. After the generic stuff, Hanji began her rambling about capturing her titan. I shot Erwin a look, but he only raised his eyebrows at me. I scowled and looked away. _As if this couldn’t get any worse…_

Then something strange happened. I felt something against my right foot. Glancing down, I noticed (Y/N)’s leg right next to mine. My eyes widened slightly in surprise, but I still managed to maintain my usual demeanour. _What is she doing?_ I thought, slightly concerned about what she had planned. But then she moved her leg away. _Maybe it was an accident? She surely can’t be thinking about-_

My mind stopped as I felt her hand on my leg. I tensed as her hand rested just above my knee on my thigh. I gave her a sideways glance, but she wasn’t looking. She was pretending to focus on Hanji. _That bitch. She’s messing with me. If she thinks I’m going to react like she did this morning she’s got another thing coming. It’ll take a lot more than that-_

I tensed more as her hand began to travel up my leg, moving up my inner thigh. I suddenly realised she wasn’t messing. She was serious. I turn to give her a look of warning, but she isn’t looking at me. Before she can reach ‘that’ area, I grab her wrist harshly.

_What is she playing at? We’re in a meeting for fucks sake! There are people in here, right in front of us!_ I try to calm myself and keep my composure on the outside. But I catch her smirk slightly as she turns her head to look down at the table. And I knew I was in trouble. I couldn’t react too much, or else the others across from us would know something was up.

My hand still firmly on her wrist, I felt her leg brush against mine, tangling itself so her foot was on the inside of my leg. Initially I was confused, but when Erwin spoke, I realised she had me right where she wanted me. “Levi, can you give us an update on where your team is at with the protection of Eren Yeager and Historia Reiss?” He enquired.

This question was fine, I had the answer on the paper in front of me. But that was the issue. I needed to use my hands to flick through the paper and hand Erwin the report. The hand that was currently blocking (Y/N) from doing anything too vulgar in the meeting. And it wasn’t as if I could close or cross my legs, because she had them pinned open with her foot wrapped around my right leg. But I couldn’t ignore Erwin. _Shit._

Cursing inwardly, I removed my hand and began to speak to Erwin, shuffling the papers in front of me and handing Erwin my report from my seat. I was surprised at first, as (Y/N) didn’t move. I began to wonder if she was planning on doing anything at all, if it was just a bluff, when she moved her hand over my crotch. I shifted in my seat and gritted my teeth, as her hand was placed unmoving over my private area. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Don’t lose focus._ Erwin had asked you to go through where you were taking them, when her hand moved, rubbing my crotch.

“We have a location just- just south of here. It’s secluded, and off the Corps record.” I manage to say quickly, mentally cursing at the fact I’d stuttered. Erwin gave me a small quizzical look at my falter, but proceeded anyway.

\--- (Y/N) ---

I honestly didn’t think this would work as well as it is. He’s like putty in my hands.

I was sat with my hand slowly rubbing over his ever-hardening bulge, with cracks in his composure beginning to show. I’d waited until he need to put both hands on the desk, which was when I knew I could strike. He’d tried pulling his legs closed to stop my advancements, but my left leg held his right leg firmly in place. This meant he couldn’t stop it without drawing attention to himself or what was happening under the table. And that was something he definitely didn’t want. So he was stuck with me and my hand stroking him.

I knew he couldn’t last much longer. His teeth were gritted, and he was trying to focus on Erwin, but failing. His breathing was getting more laboured. Meanwhile, I was enjoying watching him struggle underneath my hand. _Bet you didn’t see this coming, asshole._ But then, Erwin adjourned the meeting. Giving him one final squeeze, I released him from my grasp and unwound our legs. Clearing my throat slightly, I put my papers together and turned to look at Levi, who was glaring holes into my head. He couldn’t move. So I decided to worsen his torture.

“Are you ok there Levi? You look a little worse for wear.” I ask with mock politeness.

“Tch brat. I don’t think anyone can be ok sat next to you for a long period of time.” He spat rather harshly. _I really have pissed him off. I didn't expect to be this to be as successful as it turned out._ Glancing down at the bulge in his pants, I smirk at him. As I get up, I discreetly lean in and whisper to him.

“Clearly not”, gesturing to his crotch and giving him a wink. He only growls in response, clicks his tongue and swiftly leaves, presumably to sort his little ‘problem’ I’d given him. I watch him leave and smugly smirk, before I’m brought back to reality by Erwin.

“Squad Leader (L/N), are you still ok to hang around for a moment? It won’t take long.” He requests politely.

“Sure, Erwin. I can always make time for my favourite Commander.” I say, giving him a smile and a playful yet warm smile. He only chuckles at me, and using his hand indicates I should take a seat.

\--- Levi ---

_I’m going to kill her. Quite literally. Probably after a prolonged period of torture. Maybe I should lock her in a room with Hanji. I can’t think of anything worse than that._ I was furious at her. Why did she think that was a good idea? As much as I loved our ‘playful’ interactions, she’d taken it to another level. Whilst, yes, I touched her this morning, that was nothing in comparison to what she just did. She just tried to get me off in the middle of a meeting. At a table full of the highest-ranking officers of the Survey Corps. Whilst discussing an expedition.

Whilst part of me still fumed at her actions, another part of me wanted more. A lot more. I couldn’t get her off my mind. And I don’t know what made me angrier; my actions, or my response to them. I gave in so easily, and I allowed myself to be backed into a corner. I lost control.

_Shit, I forgot, she was meeting Erwin._ Panic rose in my chest slightly as Hanji’s words echoed in my head. _She wouldn’t date Erwin though, not after that? But what if that was merely revenge for the way I acted earlier._ I sigh and run my hands through my hair. I need to know what Erwin said to her, and ASAP. I glance at my clock. Her team would be finishing their training now, and she’d be in her office soon. Not only do I need to find out what Erwin said, but I also need to confront the brat about what she did today.

Maybe I’ll go pay the little shit a visit.


	8. Part 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but I hope it's worth it! Enjoy!

\--- (Y/N) ---

Training was done for the day, so once I’d cleared the training ground, I headed straight for the showers. Luckily, I’d remembered to bring my towel with me and my casual clothes so I didn’t need to trek back to my office first.

Whilst showering, I reflected on my day. _Maybe I should apologise to Levi. Part of me enjoyed watching him squirm under me, but I probably didn’t choose the best of locations. What would we have done if we’d’ been caught? I should go speak to him about it. An apology is probably necessary._

However, I couldn't ignore that something else was triggered inside of me. I liked being close to him. Touching him. It sounds so cliché, but I just couldn’t get enough of being near him and I had no idea why. I’ve never felt like this before.

But this is Levi. Levi has never looked for anything permanent, and if he had ever considered it, it never lasted. I sighed, knowing this would be nothing more than a game to him. _I haven’t seen him with anyone in a while. Which makes sense why he’d be letting off steam with me._

Whilst I enjoyed my time with Levi, I knew ‘friends with benefits’ were off the cards, especially for me. If one of us developed feelings and the other didn’t it’d be the end of our friendship.

That’s not something I want to risk. We’d known each other for so long, been there for each other, despite how closed off each of us may seem to everyone else. We understood how it worked and knew what the other needed. _Or we used to. Ever since I took this promotion, I’ve been so lost with where I stand with him. Maybe we just need to talk things through. It’s been a while since we cracked out the booze and let go a bit._

And that got me thinking about Erwin’s offer. _He said he’d give me time to think about it, but I’m not sure how to respond to him. What he said made sense, but… I just don’t know._

Deciding that was enough contemplation for one shower, I hopped out, towel dried my hair and got dressed into a loose fitted t-shirt and my trousers. Choosing not to put my bra back on, I stuffed all my dirty clothes and towel into the bag and set off to my office.

Humming to myself down the corridor, I relished the quiet journey back to my office before I had to finish the paperwork Erwin handed to us during the meeting. Something I’d always relished about this place was how quiet it could be after hours. Most of the cadets would be in the mess hall now, and after that it would be curfew. After the chaos of the day, the sound of my footsteps echoing along the empty stone corridors was rhythmic and almost peaceful.

I’d reached my room, and I pushed the door open, still humming whilst I was in my own little world. I closed the door behind me and turn towards my desk.

“Took you long enough.”

Instinctively I jumped back, my eyes wide and face contorted with shock. My humming ceased instantly as I yelped, and I stared into the familiar grey eyes on my couch to the left.

“For fucks sake! You scared the shit out of me Levi! What the fuck are you playing at!” I yell, launching my bag at him which he dodges easily with a small smirk.

“What am I playing at? I think I should be asking you the same question.” He says in his usual dull tone.

My eyes bore into his. “Are you fucking joking! It’s almost 10pm, and you just decided to break into my office and wait for me, completely unannounced! You could’ve given me a heads up that you were going to be here!” I seethe. I was furious at him, my heart still racing from the initial shock.

He shrugged his shoulders at me. “Not my fault you left your door unlocked.” He states nonchalantly, his calm yet slightly amused tone infuriating me even more.

“Jesus Christ Levi, I was in the fucking shower, what if I’d walked in here wearing only a towel you pervert!” I shout once again.

He smirks at me and gets up. I was still stood by the door, but he moved across to my desk, leaning on it and crossing his arms, briefly looking me up and down. “It’s a shame you weren’t.” Suddenly my anger dissipates, and I realise something.

I didn’t put my bra back on.

Part of me was glad I remembered to put my underwear on. That would’ve been a lot worse if I hadn’t. But I was still stood here, with only a t-shirt covering my upper half. I tried to calm my panicked mind and maintain my composure. _I don’t think he noticed. Please don’t notice._

“Tch, you’re unbelievable. What do you want, Levi? I assume you came here for something other than hoping to catch me only wearing a towel.” I shot back.

“I want answers.” He stated matter-of-factly.

I roll my eyes at his vague response. “Real specific there, Levi.”

“Answers for today, you idiot. Or did you forget you tried to jerk me off in the meeting this afternoon?” He says, eyes narrowing.

 _Shit, so he is pissed._ Suddenly I feel my nerves start to dwindle. _I hadn’t thought about what I’d do if he confronted me. I was going to apologise, but I was meant to have time to formulate how I’d do it. I can’t just say ‘Yeah, sorry for rubbing your dick during a meeting, don’t know what came over me.’ can I!_

“Oi, you gonna answer me or not?” He asked, his head tilting to the side.

“It was payback for this morning, dickhead.” I say without thinking, as I move past him to sit at my desk. Levi’s eyes widen at my words, and he purses his lips in amusement, slowly nodding his head.

“Oh, I see. And what did I do to you this morning that warranted your hand on my crotch in an important meeting, (Y/N)? If I remember right, I don’t think I did anything like that to you.” He asks with mock ignorance, lifting himself off my desk and turning to face me.

“I think we both know that meeting this afternoon wasn’t that important, Levi.” I state rolling my eyes and shaking my head.

“Why did you just dodge my question, (Y/N)? What are you trying to hide?” He smirks at me, head tilted.

 _You’re such a smug piece of shit._ I curse internally. _I was going to apologise, but you can quite frankly fuck off now._ “You know what you did this morning Levi. Let’s just call it even and forget about it, yes?” I say to him, standing up and planting my hands in front of me on the desk.

He chuckles at my words. “Even? I don’t think we’re anywhere _near_ even, (Y/N).” A dangerous glint shone in his eyes as he leaned closer to me. Suddenly he moved towards me, round the desk so we were both on the same side. My eyes and body turned to follow his movements, until he was stood inches from me, both of us facing each other.

But I wasn’t about to give into his game. “I’ve got shit to do Levi, so if you’re not going to make yourself useful, you can kindly fuck off.” I flash him a fake smile and turn back to my desk to pick up a handful of documents, remaining standing.

However, Levi had other plans. His hand drifted down my back, sending a shiver down my spine. His eyes wandered up and down my body, and I bit my lip as his hand ghosts over my behind. Turning my head away from him so he can’t see the blush forming on my cheeks, I gulp lightly and try to compose myself. But Levi was making it very difficult.

Pushing myself off the desk, I grab the papers and head towards the door. Little did I know Levi pursued me, and before I could reach the door handle he spun me so I was pinned against the wall, the papers dropping from my grasp.

“Levi you dick, I need to give those to Erwin!” I snap at him, our faces inches from each other’s. He glances down at my chest.

“Maybe you should have thought about that when you chose to only put this on.” He breathes seductively whilst lightly tugging on my t-shirt.

A breathless laugh escapes my lips. “Jesus Levi, why are you even looking down there anyway? My eyes are up here, asshole.” I try to say with confidence, but my voice is quiet. My heart racks in my chest as I see Levi bite his lip. One of his hands rests on my hip, but the other finds its way to the hem of my t-shirt and dips underneath. Brushing his fingers over skin, I let out a contented sigh and bite my lip to try and contain the sounds begging to escape me.

“Levi… I… I really need to… get these… to Erwin.” He only smirks, his eyes still downcast as his hand trails upwards and glides over my right breast. My body tenses as he runs his finger across my exposed nipple, my back arching slightly.

“Erwin can wait.” He breathes into my ear, close but not quite touching it with his lips.

My thoughts begin to scramble as he moves his hand and gives my breast a squeeze, whilst the other begins to dip into the hem of my trousers. His touch paralyzes me in ecstasy.

“Levi… what are you doing…” I gasp as his hand slowly makes it way to my crotch. He breathes in my ear.

“Making things ‘even’.” At his words his hand grazes my bundle of nerves, and I struggle to suppress my moan. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Levi smirking evilly at me, knowing I was melting at his touch.

 _Shit. He’s got me again. I don’t know how much more of this I can take._ I take a deep breath and look him in the eye.

And when I do, his smirk starts to fade slowly, his eyes clouding over with another emotion. Lust. He holds my gaze, his hand movements halting. His eyes dance down to my lips briefly, and he lifts his hand from my underwear to grab my hip, his other sliding to my back.

Both of us breathing heavily, he brings my body onto his, our lips centimetres apart. I place my hands on his shoulders, losing myself in his eyes. It was if time slowed as we were stood there in each other’s arms, neither wanting to move first.

I don’t think this is a game anymore.

Shattering the moment, a loud knock rattles my door. Shocked, I instinctively spun us round so Levi’s back was on the wall and push myself away. Shocked at my sudden movement, Levi looks at me with wide eyes, clearly caught off guard by the whole situation.

The knock rings out again, and we both look towards the door.

“(Y/N)? Hello? Are you there? You better not have fallen asleep yet! I need to discuss our plans with you!” Hanji speaks through the door. Blinking rapidly, I try and regain my focus. I make my way towards the door and open it a crack so I can see her.

“Yeah sorry Hanji, I’ll just me a minu-hey!” I say as Hanji opens the door, forcing her way in.

“We haven’t got time for that! You look fine! Oh, Levi? What are you doing here? And why are you behind the door? And why is there paper everywhere?” She looks questioningly at the male, who was now leaning against the wall, bored expression resumed.

“Tch, the further away I am from her the better. And it’s none of your business Four Eyes. I was just leaving anyway.” He pushes himself up off the wall, and looks at me with his hand on the door. “We’ll finish our discussion tomorrow. Meet me in my office before breakfast.” He looks between Hanji and I, then rolls his eyes and shuts the door behind him.

“Anyway, about the mission, I was thinking…” Hanji resumed, beginning to ramble as she made her way over to my desk to lay out her plans. My eyes lingered on the door where Levi stood moments ago, and I realised I already missed his touch.

_I don’t think this is a game anymore._

My own thoughts stubbornly stuck at the front of my mind, the image of Levi’s eyes, his breath on my lips, our bodies touching etched into my mind, my body still tingling from our encounter.

“(Y/N)? You ok?” Hanji asks, looking up from her papers.

I turn back around and smile. “Yeah, sorry, got a bit lost then. Guess I’m more tired than I thought." I move to collect all the papers that were scattered on the floor, and straighten them on my desk. "Now, where were we?”


	9. Part 9

\--- (Y/N) ---

Sleep wasn’t easy to come by last night. Once Hanji had left, I’d tossed and turned all night, terrified of what Levi was going to say in the morning. I couldn't stop thinking about how close we were, with his eyes meeting mine inches from my face. It'd been different than before, and I knew it.  _But surely he wouldn't want to do anything before breakfast. No. Don't be silly._ But what else could he want? I've known this man for a long time, but his words last night were almost impossible to read.  _“We’ll finish our discussion tomorrow. Meet me in my office before breakfast.”_ I sighed, remembering the words that struck both excitement and fear within me.

But before I knew it, light was filtering through my curtained window, the day beginning.

Showering to try and clear my thoughts and calm my mind, I got ready for my meeting with Levi. The corridors were quiet at this time, peaceful as there was still another half an hour until breakfast was being served. Despite the quiet leaving me to my thoughts, it was only when I reached Levi’s door that I realised my hands were shaking. _Breathe, (Y/N). It’s fine. You’ve got this._ What’s the worst that can happen?

I took a deep breath and knocked firmly.

“Name and business.” Levi spoke through the door.

“(Y/N), sir, apparently you couldn’t get enough of me yesterday, so you asked me to meet you before breakfast.” I retorted. I could practically feel his eyes rolling despite the door being closed. “Come in, idiot. The door’s unlocked.” He says sighing. As I push the door open into his office, I try to contain my smirk.

\--- (Levi) ---

I didn’t get much sleep last night. But there’s nothing new there. Insomnia usually occurs anyway, but this was different. My thoughts were racing around my head, trying to put some logic to what had happened a few hours earlier.

Part of me regretted telling her to meet me before breakfast. It was a spur of the moment thing. _Why did I want to meet her? To get answers? To stop things before it got too far? Or pick things up where we left off?_

I think I wanted all three, but I knew that wasn’t possible. I needed to decide what I wanted. No, I knew what I wanted. I needed to decide what I was going to do. What route I was going to take. Logic was what I needed to use, but my head and my heart couldn’t agree on anything, and I felt like it was tearing me apart.

One thing for sure is that didn’t want to lose (Y/N). Even if we couldn’t do anything together, I still enjoyed being around her. We’d been there by each other’s sides for so long that I don’t even know what I would do without her. I couldn’t imagine a life without her snide and sarcastic comments.

Light began to cascade through my window, and I realised I’d been sat at my desk all night. Nothing new I suppose. I got up and changed into fresh clothes and repositioned myself back at my desk.

As soon as I sat down, there was a knock at my door. My chest tensed.

“Name and business.” I said, trying to calm my racing heart. _Tch_ , w _hy am I so nervous?_

“(Y/N), sir, apparently you couldn’t get enough of me yesterday, so you asked me to meet you before breakfast.” She responded cheekily. I rolled my eyes at her response.

“Come in, idiot. The door’s unlocked.”

She opened the door, a smirk plastered on her face. _Tch, fucking idiot._ She closed the door behind her, stepping forward but remaining standing.

A silence settled in the room, each of us looking at each other, neither knowing what to say. It was (Y/N) that broke it.

“Sorry about Hanji yesterday. She’s never quite grasped the concept of being permitted to enter a room.” She said rather sheepishly. If I wasn’t mistaken a small blush was beginning to form, and I had to supress my smirk.

“To be honest, I’m more surprised Four Eyes actually knocked. I wasn’t aware she knew what the concept was.” I said, earning a small, breathy chuckle from (Y/N). “What did the brat want at that hour, anyway?” I ask curiously.

“Oh, just titan experiment stuff. Ever since I agreed last time, she thinks I’m going to do it again. The real issue is she can’t take ‘no’ for an answer.” She says shaking her head, looking off to one side and avoiding my gaze. I hum in agreement, and an awkward silence engulfs the room. _Well, this is going well._

After a few moments, (Y/N) speaks up. “So, you gonna tell me why you called me in here, or are we just going to remain in silence until breakfast?” She asks sarcastically, meeting my gaze and tilting her head. Meeting her gaze, I hesitate.

\--- (Y/N) ---

Silence ensues once more. Levi hesitates before answering my question. His eyes hold mine, as if he’s searching for an answer.

“Tch, I just wanted to say it was inappropriate of me to be in your room whilst you weren’t there. So, I can assure you it won’t happen again.” He says coldly. His response caught me off guard, as I wasn’t expecting the closed off tone to his words.

“O-oh, don’t worry about that, you just surprised me, that’s all. No harm done.” Levi purses his lips, and nods with his eyes downcast. I was gripped by a sinking feeling in my chest, when there was a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” Levi asks sounding rather irritated.

“C-Connie Springer, sir! Erwin has requested your presence in his office, sir!” the cadet says stoically through the door. Levi sighs and closes his eyes.

“Right, well, I guess I’ll see you at breakfast then? Don’t let Erwin bore you too much. From the looks of it, it doesn’t look like you got any sleep again last night, but I don’t think he’d appreciate it if you started snoozing through your meeting.” I say quickly, mustering up a smile.

Levi’s eyes meet mine, and he looks as if he contemplated saying something to me. But shook his head lightly and responded. “Tch. Whatever brat. I’ll see you later.” He says to me, as I nod my head at him, and turn on my heels to the door. When I open it, the cadet is still there, and looks at me in surprise.

“O-oh, Squad Leader (Y/N)! I had no idea you were in there! I apologise for the interru-“

“No need, Springer, I needed a reason to leave. I can only stand his insufferable presence for so long, so you’ve done me a favour. He’s Erwin’s problem now.” I say to a scared looking Connie, who laughs off my response cautiously, unsure of whether I was joking or not.

I set off down the corridor, painfully listening out for an insulting response or even a curse from the Captain. But as I glance behind me, all I see is Levi striding down the corridor in the opposite direction, not looking back. The sinking feeling resumes, and I turn round and continue down the corridor, trying to shake the sadness that had a vice-like grip on me. 

_Well. That went well._


	10. Part 10

\--- (Y/N) ---

I didn’t speak Levi for the rest of the week. We saw each other in passing in the mess hall, but instead of Levi finishing his tea with the rest of the squad leaders, when I arrived, he decided to leave and drink the rest in his office. One time I even arrived at the mess hall earlier, before he even arrived, and he merely chose to make his tea, then leave without eating.

I had no idea what was going on, he’d never shunned me like this before. And with Erwin’s proposition dwindling in the back of my mind, his actions were beginning to draw me close to making my decision.

It got so bad that Hanji, and even Erwin, began to pick up on Levi’s absences in my presence. It had been almost a week since he had sat down for breakfast with the rest of the squad leaders.

“Squad Leader (Y/N), you don’t perhaps know what’s going on with Captain Levi, do you?” Erwin enquired as I seated myself down, moments after Levi left the hall. “He’s seemed to be a bit absent around you for a week now.”

I sigh. “I’ve got no idea. Every time I’ve tried to approach him, he’s cut me off, saying he’s too busy or outright ignoring me. Maybe it’d be better if someone else spoke to him, he doesn’t seem to want to be around me at the moment.” I said dejectedly.

“I’ll do it! I need to speak to Shorty anyways but I’m pretty good at prying things out of him. Don’t worry, I’ll get to the bottom of it for you (Y/N)!” Hanji says enthusiastically, ignoring the eye rolls from around the table. Erwin shook his head lightly, knowing Hanji’s input would be a toss of a coin; she’d either coax him round and everything would go back to normal, or she’d do irreversible damage not only to hers and Levi’s friendship, but also my relationship with Levi. But at this point I was running out of ideas.

Erwin aroused me from my thoughts, and I noticed most of the other squad leaders had left, leaving me behind with only Erwin as Hanji skipped off. “So, (Y/N), have you thought any more about my proposition?” He asked, placing his cup back onto the table and standing, gesturing that we continue our conversation on the move. I nod and follow him, letting out a soft, half-hearted chuckle.

“Yeah, I’ve given it some thought. I’m still not quite sure at the moment. But I promise I’ll get back to you by the end of this week. At the latest. I just don’t want to jump into something blindly without being confident about what I want.” I say to him, giving him a small smile whilst absent-mindedly scratching the back of your head.

He returns my smile. “Don’t worry. It’s not an easy decision, I get that, and I don’t want to rush you into anything you don’t want to do. I’d rather you be certain about what you want.” We pause outside his door. “Well, (Y/N), I won’t keep you from your duties any longer. I’ll see you at dinner later.” I nod my head towards him and smile.

“Thank you, Commander.” Saluting, I turn around and head off to my office to start my day. _Well, I’ve got a lot of thinking to do._

\--- Levi ---

_I knew it. I knew there was something going on between them_.

I was currently stood leaning against the corner of the corridor, a few metres from Erwin’s door. I knew Erwin had offered (Y/N) something, but I didn’t know what. But now I’m pretty sure it’s something romantic. _Why else would he give her time? If it was squad related, he’d need the details soon. He wouldn’t be waiting so long. And the way he said her name, without ‘Squad Leader’?_

I was furious. I was on my way to drop my paperwork for Erwin from last night, but I wasn’t sure I could go in there in this state. I couldn’t get my head around Erwin and (Y/N) being together. It didn’t sit right with me. I needed to-

“What are you doing lurking around corners?” Hanji appeared behind me, making me to jump.

“Jesus, Four Eyes, what are you doing!” I say in a loud whisper. Hanji only looked at me curiously and peeped her head around the corner. Once saw (Y/N) walking away from Erwin’s room, she looked back at me with a smirk.

“Spying on (Y/N), are we? You know, it’s actually better to speak to girls rather than stalk them, it’s less creepy.” She says wiggling her eyebrows at me suggestively. I click my tongue and push past her, away from Erwin’s office. “Fuck off, Shitty Glasses. I don’t have time for your shit.”

“Oh, just like you don’t have time to speak to (Y/N)?” She retorts sarcastically. I stop momentarily, but then sigh and continue to my office in silence. Hanji followed me all the way. “You can’t have it both ways, you know. You can’t avoid her for a whole week, then follow her and get jealous when she gives someone else attention.” She tells me.

“Tch. I wasn’t following her, idiot. I’m not that creepy.”

“Oh, not creepy enough to stalk her but creepy enough to lurk around corners and listen to her conversations?” She challenges. 

“I don’t need a lecture from you about (Y/N). It’s got nothing to do with you, so stay out of my fucking business.” I say with a low, threatening tone. But Hanji persists.

“The poor girl has no clue what she’s done wrong! And every time she’s tried to speak to you, you shut her out! You’ve got no right to be jealous if you’re going to mess her around like that” She says. I close my eyes and try to compose myself. I could feel myself getting angrier.

“Hanji. Get out of my office.” I growl.

“No. Not until I get some answers. And if you’re not going to give them to me, you at least need to give them to (Y/N). She deserves that much, doesn’t she?” She pleads.

“Enough, Hanji. I don’t want to hear any more about it.” I snarl at her.

“But there’s no reason for you to push her away-“

“Hanji I can’t do this, ok! So just leave me alone!” I yell. Hanji is taken aback by my outburst, as I heavily throw myself into my chair, head in my hands. Silence engulfs the room, but Hanji stays put.

“It’s better if she forgets about me. Otherwise it’s too complicated. (Y/N) of all people should know that the closer you are to people, the more risk you carry. And that’s what gets people killed. This way, (Y/N) will be safer, and that’s all I want.” I let out a half-hearted chuckle. “And if she’s happy with Erwin, then… there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Hanji listens in silence. My head hangs down, accepting defeat. I knew how I felt about her. But I couldn’t keep toying with her the way I was. If we went any further, I didn’t know how I could do it. My feelings would only grow, and that couldn’t happen. It would be messy for both of us. And I don’t want to lose her friendship. All I needed to do was put some distance between us, and everything would be fine. She would be fine, eventually.

“You’re an idiot, do you know that?” Hanji says finally. I shot my head up and gave her a look of disbelief. She looked at me, supressing a smile. “All this time you think you’ve been ‘protecting’ her by pushing her away, but really you’re achieving what you don’t want. Of course, losing the people you love hurts. But you can’t just cut yourself off because of it. And if you do that to (Y/N), she’ll never forgive you. You’ll lose her not only as a friend, but as a companion. So you need to sort through what you want, then talk to her, Levi. Before it’s too late.”

I looked at her in shock, letting her words sink in. Just as I was about to speak, a knock sounded on my door. “Ooh, I’ll get it!” Hanji says, before bounding towards the door and opening it to a very confused Eren.

“Oh, sorry… I didn’t expect you to be here, Section Commander.” Eren says, nervously looking towards me.

“What is it, Eren?” I ask, resuming my stoic composure that was stripped back only moments ago.

“T-the squad are ready for training, sir!” He declares. I nod my head in response.

“I’ll be there soon. In the meantime, I want 10 laps done. And they better be done before I get there.” I say harshly, earning a salute from Eren as he runs back to the training ground. I look towards Hanji, who is stood by the door. “Four Eyes.” I begin.

“Yes Shorty?” She retorts with a smirk.

“…I think I needed that talk.” I say with my gaze to one side, sighing as I got up to head to the training ground. Hanji only beams and me, knowing it was the closest think to a 'thank you' she was going to get, then skips away down the corridor.

_Tch. Idiot._


	11. Part 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while (God I hate exam season) but I finally got there with this chapter! Hope you enjoy it!

\--- (Y/N) ---

I found that the best way to clear my head was to train. I had I different mindset whilst fighting and training, one which was much sharper and alert. I could direct my attention to one thing and let everything else drift to the back of my mind. It was exactly what I needed right now. With Erwin’s proposition, and my current situation regarding Levi, I was lost. I needed to get out of my own head and refocus.

I was in the training room, surrounded by dummies and fighting gear. There was one dummy set up in front of me, with the entire room deserted, filled only by a soft, morning glow. I carefully wrapped my hands in tape, and took a deep breath with my eyes closed, taking in the silence.

Slowly building my pace and rhythm, I hit the dummy in front of me methodically. My mind cleared and I was focused on the pattern of punches. _Right. Left. Left. Swerve right. Right. Left. Right._ I punched at a rapid pace, occasionally adding kicks and moving fluidly around the dummy in the middle of the room. I was so immersed in the routine that I didn’t even notice the door opening and closing.

“Tch. How many times do I have to tell you? You’ll learn jack shit hitting a stationary target.” Levi said in his signature bored tone, quickly pulling me from my focused trance. I whipped my head round only to see him leaning against the wall at the entrance of the room.

“Oh I know Levi, it’s just therapeutic to imagine this as you and beat the shit out of it. It really clears the mind, you know?” I shoot back, earning a head tilt from Levi.

“If you’re so confident, why don’t you take a shot at the real thing?” He asks. I look back at him, taken aback for a second. The last time I’d fought Levi was on the training grounds after he challenged me in front of all the cadets. But that was the first time we’d sparred since before I’d got promoted. Since then we had never found time, it just fell out of our routine.

“Oi, what’s wrong with you? You we’re so cocky a moment ago. Realised you’ve bitten off more than you can chew, (L/N)?”

(L/N). The surname. He only used that when he was being an asshole. “Sorry, _Captain_ , I was just unsure if Erwin would want his lap dog’s face rearranged. Not that it couldn’t do with some improvements, but I don’t think it’s high up on his list of priorities.” I say. That earned a small chuckle.

“It’s bold for you to assume that you’re going to get anywhere near landing a punch.”

“Bolder for you to think I’m assuming rather than knowing it’s going to happen.”

We were closer together now, and I raised my hands and positioned myself into a sparring stance, with a small smirk on my face. Levi only narrowed his eyes, rolled his sleeves up, and mirrored my stance.

Neither of us moved. We were both waiting. Waiting for the right moment. The tension in the air was thick, and it filled every corner of the room.

I struck my hand out, my fist whizzing past his head as he ducked to the side. My other hand flew towards his body, but he effortlessly spun away. Pushing off his back foot he hurtled towards me, throwing together a combination of punches that I swerved and dodged. We continued like this, attack after counterattack, for what seemed like forever. _This is getting nowhere. I need to do something more drastic. More unpredictable._

It was like Levi read my mind. In a flash, his hand punched a hole through the air, miles away from hitting me. _Why was he so far away from me? Levi’s accuracy is second to none, what is he—_

I was ripped from my thoughts as his leg swept me off the ground, causing me to stumble back onto the ground. I looked up only to see him stood hovering over me.

“Tch. Didn’t think it’d be that easy. You’ve lost your touch, (Y/N).” He said, an arrogant look slapped onto his face. Little did he know, I had a plan. Spinning my legs round, I attempted to sweep his feet from under him, much like he did to me. It was an obvious move, one which he dodged with a jump.

“Really? That’s the best you could come up wi—” He stopped as I spun up onto my knees, grabbing him by the collar and chucking him onto the floor. I used my body to pin him down, straddling him.

Levi looked up at me with a shocked expression, with me sat above him breathing heavily. Suddenly his eyes lit up with determination. He rolled us over so he was above me, and tried to land a punch. I shifted my head and his hand stopped before it hit the ground. With my body shifted slightly underneath him, I had room to swing my right elbow towards his face, connecting with his jaw. I took the opportunity of his balance loss and reversed us back to our previous position, with him underneath me.

I’d pissed him off now. He let out a growl, and brought his leg up sharply, his knee connecting just under my butt, causing me to topple forward. In a flash he grabbed my leg and flipped me onto my back. He swiftly dodged my knee that came hurtling towards his face, adjusted his grip on me. One hand was firmly pressed onto my left thigh, my other leg held by his leg hooked over mine. His other hand had both my wrists firmly lodged in his grasp.

“Tch. At least I pulled my punch brat.” He spat at me. I lay underneath him, panting. I couldn’t form words. He was so close. He was above me, pinning me down, his body pressed against mine. My mind was spinning. In that moment, I just wanted to kiss him, with his hair a mess, beads of sweat forming on his forehead, him looking at me with a look of sheer determination. I wanted to take him right here, in the middle of the training room. I couldn’t give a shit if anyone walked in. A heat began to form between my legs and before I could stop myself, I felt a blush rise to my cheeks.

Levi clocked my face, and his face shifted from anger, to confusion, to smugness. He realised the position we were in, and he thought he had me in the palm of his hand.

“Someone’s excited, aren’t they?” He whispered seductively as he lowered his face closer to mine. His hips shifted above me, and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from letting out any embarrassing noises.

But this only drove Levi further. “Tch. You shouldn’t do that. It’s not going to help you.” He says lowly, his eyes drawn to my lips. His arrogance had dissipated, and all that was left was lust. His hand slid up my left leg and rested on my him, my leg bending to bring him closer to me. Both of us were breathless, our eyes searching each other’s for an understanding of what was happening.

My heart skipped a beat as Levi’s eyes flickered to my lips and he leant down. He wanted it too. He’d forgot about our sparring session, and only had one thing on his mind. Me.

And that was his mistake.

In an instant I lifted my head forcefully and headbutted him, flipping our positions once more. I had Levi’s hands pinned next to his head, his legs pinned down by mine. He was in pure shock, still trying to process what just happened.

“Sorry, who was the excited one again?” I say with a smirk plastered onto my face. His face twisted into anger.

“Fuck you brat. You sure do know how to ruin a fucking moment.” He seethed as I chuckled at him. Lifting myself off him, I held out my hand to him.

“Better luck next time, Ackerman. I’m hoping you’ll beat me soon. It’s getting a bit boring, all this winning. I think I’d have better luck sparring with the dummies at this rate.” I said to him, as he lifted himself off the floor, still fuming. “But I’ve got shit to do, the paperwork won’t do itself. Round 2 will have to wait for another time I’m afraid.” I told him, as I slung my towel over my shoulder and headed towards the showers.

I reached my hand towards the door handle, but I never reached it. I was spun round, my back hitting the wall, and Levi’s hand firmly pressed onto my shoulder.

“What the fuck Levi!” But he cut me off.

“Just shut up.” He says. I couldn’t register what was happening, but all of a sudden one of his hands was on my hip, the other on my neck. He looked at me, his eyes filled with lust. He leaned in, and our lips touched.

It was only brief, softer than I imagined. I stood there stunned, rooted to the spot. He pulled back slightly, his eyes searching mine for reassurance, when I pulled him back in. My hand wound into his hair as we kissed again, much more passionately than the first. All our emotions were poured into our kiss, our hands pulling each other closer. It was only one kiss, but I already couldn't get enough. His scent filled my senses, his touch driving me insane. I moaned into his mouth as he pulled me into his body once again.

But before it could go any further, Levi pulled away again. We looked at each other, our heavy breaths filling the otherwise silent room.

"Not bad." He said looking me up and down, then he pulled the door open and left.

I couldn’t move. My chest was rising and falling rapidly, my heart beating at an insane rate. I let my head rest against the wall and closed my eyes. I bit my lip, already addicted to his taste.

_Fuck._


	12. Part 12

\--- (Y/N) ---

It was only one kiss and I was already hooked. After returning to reality, still trying to process what just happened, I flung open the door, desperately looking down the corridor to see if he was still loitering. But he was gone. A few cadets wandered past giving me confused looks. _Fuck. I need to go shower. And I need to finish that paperwork. Don’t overthink it. Stop thinking about it. About him. You know you can’t afford to do that, not now._

Sighing, I recomposed myself, retrieved my things from the training room floor and set off back to my office.

\--- Levi ---

I honestly don’t know why I just did that. We were so close. It was there. And she ripped it away from me. I lost control; I couldn’t leave there without knowing what could have been. I’d been waiting too long. I’d missed so many opportunities.

And yet I wanted more. I took on board what Hanji said, but part of me knew I shouldn’t have done that. When we sign up to the Survey Corps, we sell our souls for the sake of freeing humanity. Whilst nobody objects to a bit of fun, relationships have always proved a fatal distraction. And neither of us could afford that. _I can’t afford that. I can’t let her be distracted by me. It may be selfish, but I can’t lose her. Not like everyone else._

But I just couldn’t stop myself. And I knew now that I’d had a taste, I’d want more. So much more.

I’d made my way to my office, where I slid into my chair at my desk. It was glued to the front of my brain. Her pressed against the wall, her breath on my cheek, her soft lips on mine… It was like a drug. _Maybe if she was closer to me, I could protect her more. No. She wouldn’t want that. She’s so headstrong, I don’t want to smother her. I’d just push her away._

A knock at the door arose me from my thoughts. _Shit. Still working. I’ve got to sort this later though._ My words cut sharp through the silent room, and I tried as hard as possible to push my thoughts about (Y/N) to the back of my mind. Not that I was successful.

\--- (Y/N) ---

The rest of the day had dragged, but it was finally the evening and the cadet’s curfew. I’d finally finished the mountain of paperwork from Erwin. I sat back in my chair and exhaled, closing my eyes for a moment. But my moment of serenity was shattered by Hanji almost knocking my door down as she bowled through.

“(Y/N)! I’m surprised your still up!” She beams. I merely open my eyes, and slowly cast them towards her, with a unsurprised expression on my face.

“Well, with the ferocity that you flung my door open, even if I was asleep, I wouldn’t be anymore, would I?” I say, earning a laugh from Hanji. “What do you want, Hanji? Because if it’s about a titan experiment or capture, I’ve already told you, I’m not doing that shit again. Ever.” I tell her.

“No, nothing like that. I actually came to ask you about Levi.” I instantly try and supress my blush, and maintain eye contact, but I clearly failed on both counts. “Oh, so he has spoken to you then? What did he say? Come on, (Y/N), you’ve got to tell me everything!” She says excitedly.

I sigh and roll my eyes. There was no way I was getting out of this, not if I wanted to sleep. “Well, he didn’t really… say… much, to be honest. We just sparred for a bit, exchanged the usual insults, then… he left to do paperwork.” I say as convincingly as possible. I wasn’t lying. Those things definitely happened. I just failed to mention a small detail about what happened before he left.

Unfortunately Hanji wasn’t buying it. “What else happened, (Y/N)? I know you’re hiding something. I can see it in your eyes. You’re a terrible liar.” She narrows her eyes suspiciously, taking a seat opposite me and leaning towards me with her head on her hands.

“Well, erm… he may… have… possibly… kissed me.” I rush the last few words, uttering them quietly in hopes Hanji didn’t hear me. But she did.

“YES! I KNEW IT! I TOLD SHORTY IT’D BE FINE!” She screamed, seemingly talking to herself whilst I sat there perplexed. “So, what else did he do? Are you guys together now? When are you moving quarters? I doubt he’d move to your room, it’s a mess and we both know Levi is a creature of habit.” She rambles.

“Woah, woah, Hanji. Levi and I aren’t together. It was a onetime thing, and it won’t be happening again. We’re both friends, and it’s… it’s better if it stays like that. For both of us.” I say rather solemnly.

“Absolutely not. I’m not having it. I’m sorting this… and we’re doing it now.” Hanji says, leaping out her seat and dragging me out of my office. It took me a whilst to process what was going on, but despite my protests, I couldn’t get myself out of her vice-like grip on my arm.

She only stopped when we got to Levi’s room, knocking loudly on the door. When she let go of me, I turned to leave, when she grabbed me again. Levi’s voice granted us entry, and I was dragged into Levi’s room.

Hanji shut the door behind us, and I was greeted by a very confused Levi sat as his desk.

“Right, I’m done with this. You two are going to stay in here and talk. And you’re not leaving until you’ve both said what you need to say and sort through your stuff. Agreed? Brilliant.” She said, answering her own question, smiling at both of us and leaving, shutting the door behind us.

Silence settled over the both of us, and I couldn’t look at him. This was embarrassing. “I’m… erm… gonna go hit her if that’s ok. We don’t have to do this, I’ll leave you to whatever boring shit you were doing before we got here.” I say nervously, turning to leave.

“No.” His voice stops me in my tracks.

“No?”

“No. Stay.”

My heart was already beating furiously in my chest, and when I turned around to face Levi it only got worse. He was leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed, his eyes looking directly into mine. I felt like collapsing here and now. _Jesus, when did I become such a sap? You need to get a grip_.

I inhaled slowly and nodded. Levi indicated towards his couch, and I sat down on the left-hand side. Levi got up and plonked himself down next to me. His right arm rested on the back of the couch, and his leg was crossed over the other, his eyes never leaving me.

“So. What do you want to talk about?” I ask as confidently as possible. I turn my head and look at him stoically, and for a moment a small smirk graces his features, before returning to his neutral expression.

“Us.” He stops, and a silence settles once again.

“Sorry, Levi, did we suddenly forget what full sentences were? Since I’ve got here, your sentences haven’t contained more than what, one word?” I say sarcastically. He remains silent for a moment, before speaking.

“What did you think before?”

I hesitate. “I don’t understand. What do you mean?” I ask, earning a click of his tongue.

“You’re honestly such a moron sometimes. I mean when we were together, when I kissed you. What did you think?” He asked bluntly.

“I mean, I was pretty shocked. I did not see that coming.” I laugh slightly.

“But did you want it?”

I hesitate again before answering. “I mean, I…”

Levi interrupts. “Don’t give me some bullshit answer. Forget everything else. Just think about us then. In that moment, did you want it? Me?”

I sigh. “Yes. I did.” Silence falls once again. “But you know it’s not that simple.”

“Why isn’t it?” He asks. I look at him in disbelief.

“You know why. You know what happens when people get attached. If we do this, we risk so much more. Not to mention we’d need Erwin’s approval, which I doubt we’d get…”

He interrupts once more. “Why would Erwin not approve?” His question carries a slightly more aggressive tone than the others.

“I mean, I’m not sure he’d want his lap dog being distracted, by another squad leader at that.” He goes quiet. “Look, it’s not that I don’t like you. I… I do. I don’t know if it’s love, I don’t know yet. But… I know I care about you. The issue is our jobs. Humanity comes first, that’s what we agreed to when we signed up. It’s too complex.”

“So you don’t want this.” His question was phrased as a statement, and my heart sunk. I did want this, I wanted him, but I just couldn’t see how it was possible.

“No… its not that. It’s just, I need to think about it. Properly. I need to weigh it all up and see what’s best. Not just for me, but for you too. I don’t want to ruin what we already have, we’re so close and I feel you’re the only one I can truly trust, so I don’t want to lose you. Not now. Not like this.”

His eyes burn into mine, his expressions hidden behind his façade. But I could tell he was thinking. We remain on the couch, staring at each other.

Like lightning he leans in, and I find his lips on mine. His hand cups my cheek and pulls me in closer. His lips move softly against mine, and I find myself moving with him. I couldn’t not. A fire lights within me and I’m consumed. My hands end up on his shoulders, and I subconsciously pull him closer, the kiss becoming more passionate and heated. He tasted like heaven, his scent luring me in.

But this time it was me that pulled away. Both of us lost for breath and words, I look into Levi’s eyes, which are burning with lust. Nevertheless, I untangle myself from him, and get up to leave. As I open the door, I look back at him, still sat on the couch, his eyes following me. I sigh and close the door behind me.

\--- Levi ---

I think I may have fucked this up. She wanted time, and I just jumped her. I wanted to make her see I wanted this too, that nothing else would matter, but I didn’t know how. I’ve always been shit with words, so I thought I could show her. I didn’t know how, so I kissed her. But I may have pushed this too far.

_You’re a fucking moron,_ I think to myself. I run my hands through my hair, and get up off the couch. Leaning against my desk, I loosen my cravat. I could still feel her lips on mine, and my heart drops knowing I may never get that chance to feel it again.

_How could I do that? She may never speak to me again. She told me what she wanted, and I ignored her. I only thought of myself. I need to apologise. Not now. We both need time to cool off._

My thoughts are interrupted as the door swings open and shut. I look up, pissed off that they didn’t knock, assuming it was Hanji. But it wasn’t.

“Fuck it. Fuck all of it.” (Y/N) says as she walks up to me. Without hesitation she wraps her hand around the back of my head and our lips collide once more. Her actions caught me completely off-guard, but once I regain my focus, I kiss her back with even more ferocity. My hands snake onto her hips, pulling her body onto mine, and I spin her so her back is on the desk, not caring about the mess.

Not caring about anything but (Y/N).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, SO sorry for the completely sporadic updating! I'm hoping to sort out an actual schedule for this stuff soon, but at the moment life it too chaotic for any order. But I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and next chapter will definitely be more 'heated' ;)
> 
> I want to thank everyone for their support, I will try and reply to all your comments, and thank you so much for the kudos, I'm almost on 60 and it means so much to me that people are enjoying this work. So thank you for the support!!


	13. Part 13

\--- (Y/N) ---

I close the door behind me.

_Fuck._

Levi had just kissed me, and I left the room wordlessly. I couldn’t think. My thoughts were scrambled. But one thing was certain; I wanted more. More of him.

But I knew I couldn’t. It wouldn’t be right, we’d get in each other’s ways, we’d become distracted, not to mention I’d have to postpone the plans with Erwin. And that's even if he'd let us be together.

Erwin. What do I tell him? He’d kill me if this is why I turn him down.

_No. You can’t. Keep walking. Walk away._

But each step I took, my heart got heavier, and my mind couldn’t shake the thought of him on my lips. The further away I got, the more unbearable it became. Then something within me snapped, and I spun on my heels, racing back to Levi’s room, flinging the door open.

“Fuck it. Fuck all of it.” I say as I strode up to him and confidently pulled his lips onto mine. I could tell he was surprised from the lack of initial reaction, but after a second or so his lips moved rhythmically against mine, his hands finding their way to my waist. Levi spun me around so my back hit his desk, scattering its contents over the floor. But neither of us cared. We were too lost in each other to care about anything else.

Levi lifted me up so I was perched on the edge of the desk, and his hands pulled my hips closer so I could feel him grind against me. And fuck did I want more. My hands removed themselves from his raven locks and began deftly undoing each button on his shirt, my lips still locked with his.

 Levi pulled his lips from mine and gazed at me lustfully. “Are you sure about this?” He asked me, his eyes searching mine for acceptance.

I smirk. “Just shut up and kiss me.” I breathe, and without hesitation, Levi reinitiates the contact, one hand on my face, the other on my hip, pulling me as close to him as possible.

I continued to undo the buttons, as Levi’s hips rolled into mine causing me to let out a soft moan into his mouth. He took this opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue catching mine and lighting a fire both in my chest and my crotch. His hand found its way underneath my shirt, moving upward over my spine towards my bra.

“Tch. I see you learnt from your previous mistake and opted for the underwear today.” He whispered seductively, “Not that it matters. It’s only going to end up on my floor.” I could only muster moans in response, as his lips moved towards my neck and hit a sweet spot. _Fuck he’s good at this._

After hearing my positive cohort of moans, he attacked the spot until I was a moaning mess. Embarrassed, I brought a hand up to my mouth to muffle the vulgar noises escaping me. But Levi disapproved of this, pulling it away. “Not a fucking chance. Do you know how long I’ve waited for this? I want to hear you scream, (Y/N). I don’t care who hears.” I blushed at his response, and Levi pulled me back in to quieten my self-conscious thoughts.

I could feel his erection moving against my crotch as he rolled his hips, and I sighed at the thought of him being inside me. I hadn’t fully realised how much I wanted him until this moment. All our suppressed emotions and lust were bubbling on the surface, and I just wanted to let it all go.

His hands gripped my ass and pulled me closer as he reclaimed the spot on my neck, which would surely be bruised after this. I threw my head back with my eyes closed and sighed as a heat built in between my legs. Despite him not even touching me down there yet, I was already soaking wet. I didn’t know how much more I could take without his touch down there. His lips found mine once again, and I tangled my fingers through his hair, urging him on.

“Ahem.”

Our lips parted quickly as both our heads shot to the source of the noise.

_Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit._

The door was open wide, and in the doorway stood a tall, blond muscular, man with piercing blue eyes and humongous eyebrows.

Erwin looked at both of us, piercing us with an unimpressed look. His eyes darted between the two of us. I was frozen on the spot.

“Tch. What do you want Eyebrows, can’t you see I’m busy?” Levi’s voice and face held his usual unimpressed look, as he stared down Erwin, his hands still residing on my waist. I was still propped up on the desk, and his body in between my legs prevented me from moving. All I could do was avoid Erwin’s gaze out of embarrassment.

“I came to see if you knew where (Y/N) was. And it appears you do.” He spoke harshly, before turning his gaze to me. “I expect you in my office in less than 5 minutes. Tidy yourself up and meet me there.”. His eyes flicker between us once again. “We’ll discuss your conduct tomorrow morning.” His hard stare is filled with both irritation and disappointment.

“Y-yes sir, I’ll be right there. Sorry, sir.” I say quickly as I tried to smooth down my hair and move, but Levi still blocked me. He only looked to Erwin in annoyance, refusing to move. Erwin returned his look, and with a slight sigh turned and left, slamming the door hard.

Neither of us moved, and Levi’s gaze was fixated on the door. “Levi, I need to go. I don’t want us to be in any more trouble than we already are.” But he doesn’t listen. He remained where he was. “Levi.” I urged. His eyes found mine, and he looked at me with a combination of anger and bitterness.

“Tch. Fine. Do what you want. I’m sure Erwin will be happy to have you for himself.” He says harshly before moving away, redoing the buttons on his shirt. I only stare at him dumbfoundedly.

“Eh? What are you on about, Levi?”

“I’ve seen how you two have been lately. You staying behind after the meeting. Walking to his office with him. I’ve suspected something for a while, and I thought I could change your mind. But clearly not. So you can run along to your precious Commander. Wouldn't want to keep him waiting too long now would we?.” He spat at me, and all I could do is stare at him with a look of pure shock and confusion.

“Levi, what the fuck are you on about? Why the fuck would I be here with you if I was with Erwin? Why the fuck would you think I'd even be with Erwin! Those meetings weren’t because we were courting, or fucking, or whatever you thought I was doing with him, it was because he offered me another position in the Corps! The reason why I had to think things through wasn’t because I was fucking someone else, but because if I take this job I won’t be around here as much anymore!” I shout at him. “But you know, if at any point you’d removed your head from your fucking arse and actually given a shit about me, then you would have known that!” I scream in frustration.

Levi looks at me with wide eyes, rooted to the spot. But I was too enraged to even think about him right now. I collected my things, and rested my hand on the door. I pause, turning to look at him. “You know, ever since I became Squad Leader, things have been different with us. At first, I thought we were just adjusting. But now I realise that it wasn’t me, or us. It was you and your stupid fucking ego.”

My eyes brim with tears as I look at his now emotionless expression. “And to think, I thought you knew me. We've been so close for so long. How could you even think I’d… I’d do…”  I was choking back my emotions. I shook my head at him in disbelief and before I broke down, I flung the door open and strode away, composing myself as I walked to Erwin’s office to face the Commander's wrath, leaving Levi stood in the now cold and silent room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! Please let me know what you guys think!


	14. Part 14

*The Next Morning*

\--- Levi ---

Unsurprisingly I’d had a sleepless night. (Y/N)’s words as she’d left my room last night had stuck with me, and they cut deep. _“And to think, I thought you knew me”_. The look of hurt and betrayal she gave me was etched onto my brain. I didn’t want to see her like that, let alone be the cause of it. There was a knot tied in my stomach, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that we’d ruined our chance.

In all the time I’d known her, we rarely ever argued. We were always on the same page, and that was one of the reasons we’d got so close. She didn’t do the theatrics, she was down to earth and honest, and wasn’t afraid to let people know how she felt. A lot like me. We’d been through similar shit, and we were right there next to each other every time. But I don’t know if that will ever happen again. Not anymore.

Stretching, I got up from my desk and changed into fresh clothes for the day. _Great, now we have to go explain ourselves to Erwin. Not like it’s any of his business what his subordinates get up to in their private lives._ Sighing, I closed my eyes, attempting to prepare myself for the ensuing lecture from the Commander.

\--- (Y/N) ---

I was already sat in Erwin’s office waiting for Levi to arrive. We were sat in silence, neither of us willing to engage in conversation. The tension was tangible, and I don’t think I’d ever been in such an awkward situation in my life. _Well, apart from last night when Erwin walked in on Levi and I latched onto each other’s faces._ My mind drifted back to our kiss- well, it was a bit more than a ‘kiss’- and my heart fluttered. But then his words ran through my mind, shattering my utopia. _“So you can run along to Erwin, if you wait any longer, he’ll drag you to his bed himself.”_ He’d never said anything like that to me before. And to be honest, his words still burned within me. I couldn’t get over the fact he would think I’d do something like that, and not even have the decency to tell him. It made me want to punch him and cry at the same time.

A short knock sounded on the door, and Erwin beckoned Levi in. He entered, closing the door behind him and took the seat next to me, with Erwin sat across from us at his desk. Levi was yet to even glance in my direction. It was like he didn’t even notice I was here.

“Well, I’ll try and keep this brief. We’ve all got more important stuff to be doing. But you both know why you’re here, correct?” Erwin spoke.

“Tch, because you asked us to come?” Levi said nonchalantly. I let out a chuckle of disbelief, and Erwin turned his attention towards him.

“I suggest you take this matter seriously, Captain. I can’t have two of my leaders lose focus. Our mission to Shiganshina is imminent, and that is our main priority. We cannot risk any distractions, or even worse, any 'accidents', if you know what I mean.” Erwin said sternly. Levi rolled his eyes, and opened his mouth to retort. But I beat him to it.

“We understand Commander. And it won’t happen again. It was a lapse of judgement on both parts. I’m fully committed to the Corps goals, and the reclamation of Wall Maria. And I’m sure the Captain is too. It was foolish, and I can assure you that anything of the sort won’t be happening again.” I said, my voice neutral as I tried to suppress my emotions. I’d planned what I was going to say, and as much as it hurt, I knew it was the right call. And after the conclusion of my meeting with Erwin last night, a relationship with Levi couldn’t be on the cards right now. For either of us.

I turned to look at Levi. His eyes were slightly wider, and they held a hint of pain as he looked back at me. But then it was gone, and he turned towards the Commander. “See? No need to get your knickers in a twist. So, now you’ve finished treating us like school children, can we leave? As you said, we all have more important shit to be doing.” Levi said, returning to his monotone expression, his voice devoid of emotion.

“Yes, Levi, you may leave. But this is your first and last warning. Any other activity will result in punishment, am I understood?” I nod at him, and Levi only clicks his tongue. “Good. Now, (Y/N), I will meet you in the courtyard in 15 minutes. I take it everything is prepared?” He enquires.

“Yes, sir, I’m good to go.”

“Good. I’ll be with you shortly. You’re both dismissed.” I salute to the Commander before turning on my heels and exiting the room.

Not long after the door closes behind me and I make my way down the corridor, I find myself pressed against the stone-cold wall, greeted by Levi’s face inches from mine.

“What the fuck did he mean by ‘I take it everything is prepared’? Why are you meeting in the courtyard?” He asked, distress visible on his usually calm demeanour. But I managed to maintain my composure.

“If you were actually listening to anything I said last night, then you’d know.” I said calmly.

“Stop being fucking cryptic and answer the goddamn question, (Y/N).” He spat. I looked at him, my eyes unwavering.

“I told you. Erwin needs me for a job. He’d asked me a few weeks ago, and I told him I needed time to think about it. Last night he came to see if I’d made up my mind, and I had. I leave in 15, so if you could kindly get the fuck off me, I have shit to do, just like you.” I said, trying to maintain neutrality. But it was getting difficult as Levi’s eyes held a mixture of both anger and hurt, bearing into mine.

“And you were going to leave without saying goodbye? Why didn’t you say anything?” He said.

“I wasn’t, no. I knew I’d see you this morning, and I planned on telling you just before I’d left. I’m not that fucking heartless. But I guess you don’t know me as well as we both thought.” My final words held more malice, and I pushed Levi off me. He looked at me in disbelief. I straightened out my uniform and looked towards him. “Goodbye, Captain.” I said, a hint of sadness twinging my sharp response. I turned around and continued down the corridor, not looking back.

_Well. There's no turning back now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness of the chapter (again), I had a bit of writers block. I don't think this is my best work, but hopefully the story will pick up again in the next chapter or two! 
> 
> Not to sound like a broken record, but thank you all again for the support. It means so much, so keep up with the comments, I love hearing your opinions. 
> 
> Until next time!


	15. Part 15

\--- (Y/N) ---

It’d been two months since I’d left the Survey Corps HQ. Two long, difficult months. I’d spent my time sifting through old books and documents held within Wall Sina, documents that had been declared illegal until Historia took over as Queen. Whilst most documents had been destroyed when the laws were put in place, some still remained, hidden within the royal estate. And my task was to find anything of use for our upcoming mission to Shiganshina.

While having Eren and his newfound hardening ability improved our chances of reclaiming Wall Maria, we’re still at a disadvantage against the other Titan-shifters. Not only are they stronger and are regenerative, they also possess knowledge of the outside world, which could be the difference between success and defeat. Hence why Erwin sent me and a small team of scouts to try and unveil as much useful information as possible.

Most of the content was hard to read due to age and damage, some even in a different language, but we weren’t entirely unsuccessful in our venture. The most useful document we unearthed were plans for a weapon, labelled ‘Thunder Spears’. After seeking the engineering department out, we managed to build them, in hopes they would be able to pierce the Armoured Titan’s outer shell. Unfortunately, the rest of our search came up blank.

The carriage came to a halt, signalling the end of our journey. The sounds of recruits sparring and the distant whirring of ODM gear greeted me home, and a small smile broke as I stepped out onto the turf. Home. Not many people can call a military base ‘homely’, but this was the closest I had.

But with this warmth came a sinking feeling. _Levi._ I hadn’t spoken to him since I left two months ago, and we didn’t exactly leave on the best of terms, which is something I’ve regretted ever since. We’d gotten so close, then in the blink of an eye our relationship shattered. I’m not even sure I can face him just yet. Despite having two months to mull it over, I’d never come up with the right thing to say or do. I’d never been in this situation before with Levi, we always read each other like a book, never missed a beat. But something slipped, and we crumbled away.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t miss him. God had I missed his piercing stare, the clicking of his tongue, and the faint smell of bleach and cleaning products. To be honest, I’d missed him more than I’d like to admit. But I couldn’t face him just yet, I need to know what I want before I do.

“Oi brat, you going to stand there all day or what?”

I tensed at the familiar voice behind me. _Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit._

“Oi, are you even listening?” Levi said, his tone laced with irritation. Mentally slapping myself, I turned to face him.

What I didn’t expect was for my heart to leap out of my chest in doing so. It’d been so long since I’d seen him, that I forgot how enchanting he was. His grey eyes, jet black hair, chiselled cheekbones. I could feel myself heating up just at the sight of him. _Jesus, (Y/N), get a grip._

“Sorry, I’m so used to tuning you out that I didn’t hear what you said.” I spat back with more ferocity than intended. Something I instantly regretted, when I saw Levi’s stare become colder.

“I said Erwin wants you in his office. Now. Just because you’ve been on some 'secret' mission doesn’t make you any more important around here. I don’t have time to babysit so if you can kindly do as your fucking told and stop wasting my time, it’d be appreciated.” He retorted coldly, his eyes devoid of emotion.

My heart sank as I watched him turn away sharply and stalk back inside. _Well done (Y/N), off to a great fucking start._ And with a sigh and an internal scream, I set off towards Erwin’s office.

_Welcome home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot apologise enough for how late this chapter is, and I'm sorry it's so short!  
> I'm going to aim to post a chapter a week, but I'm not sure how it'll work out with all my work so we're testing the waters.  
> Life has kinda been a bit hectic recently, hence the almost 3 month delay on this new chapter. I know this isn't my best work, but I needed a segway into the new stuff so decided this would have to do.  
> As per usual, any comments are greatly appreciated, and I will try to reply to them as quickly as possible.  
> Thank you so much for the support, and hopefully I'll be updating this again soon!


	16. Part 16

My meeting with Erwin went pretty smoothly, discussing the usual with my research conclusions and filling me in on what happened during the two months I’d been gone. The meeting was succeeded by another meeting, this time with all the squad leaders of the Survey Corps. The discussion on the table was the mission to reclaim Wall Maria, to which we would be embarking on in two days time. We’d been told to prepare for the mission but to keep it under wraps from the public for now, and we’d be informing all the Survey Corps personnel tomorrow morning. A feast would be prepared for tomorrow evening, which would certainly be the last meal for lots of the young soldiers.

Throughout the meeting Levi hung back away from the others, something which I noticed and couldn’t help wonder if I had something to do with. Furthermore, when we were leaving I noticed the door shut behind us, leaving Levi alone with Erwin. I stopped in my tracks as the other squad leaders whittled away, probing Hange about her old crush on Keith Shadis. _Levi was weird all meeting. Should I listen to see if I can find out why? Would that be rude? No, (Y/N), keep walking._

But I didn’t. Turning back, I loitered just outside, close enough to hear their voices.

“Let Hange call the shots. You’ll just be dead weight. Let the good news come to you. We’ll tell the others I argued till you gave in. No. That’s exactly what I intend. Fine with that?” I heard Levi tell Erwin. _Levi was never one to mince his words, but calling him ‘dead weight’ was a bit harsh, considering Erwin was his superior. But what Levi was saying made sense, and surely the Commander knows his position. He got us this far, and when we take Wall Maria I’m certain he can get us a lot further…_

“I’m not. I’m fine being food. Use me as bait.” My eyes widened at his words. _He can’t seriously believe in that… can he?_  “If I don’t do it, the success rate will plummet.”

“That’s right. The operation might fail, but if you bite the dust in the process, we’re doomed. So just sit at your desk and keep using your head. That’s the last thing the Titans would want.” My head was racing at Levi’s words. _So he’d quite happily sacrifice everyone for the sake of one person? Is he mad? Erwin is a great commander, but… to risk the whole operation, the Survey Corps surely would be wiped out…_

“No. You’re wrong. Our best option is for me to gamble it all-”

“Hey, hey, hey, hold up… keep using that bluff around me and I’ll break both your damn legs.” I gasped. _Levi isn’t holding back. This means a lot to him. Erwin means a lot to him. I knew he would follow him anywhere, but this… this is a whole new level._

“What you’re saying is right. A wounded soldier should stay off the battlefield. However, there will come a moment when we learn the truth of our world, and I must be there for it.” I let the reality of Erwin’s words sink in. _He didn’t care about the success. He was in it for the truth. Proof that he was right._

“Is it that important to you? More than your legs?” Levi questioned threateningly.

“Yes.”

“More than humanity’s victory?”

“Yes.”

Levi paused. Erwin’s admission had caught me off guard, and I didn’t know what to think. _Was everything he said a lie? All for his own gain?_ “I see.” Levi retorted, as he moved and placed his hand on the door, shaking me from my thoughts. _Shit, I need to leave before he sees me._ But as I moved away, I heard Levi speak.

“You’re still not going to let (Y/N) stay here, I take it?” I almost tripped at his words. _Did I just hear him right? That son of a bitch, I’m not fucking staying here! That asshole has no right…_ Part of me wanted to march right up to the door and slap him as soon as he left, but I restrained myself as I marched up the corridor, just in time as Levi exited the office as I rounded the corner.

\--- The Next Day ---

We were sat in the mess hall, fresh, steaming meat lying on plates in front of us. The cadets were already drooling, and upon the signal to start eating chaos ensued. Sat at the Squad Leader table, with everyone apart from Erwin and Levi, we sat and watched the carnage unfold. I was seated next to Hange, who to my delight had snuck in a bottle of vodka, of which we were discreetly emptying into our cups.

By this point I was a bit tipsy, but Hange was a little further gone. So when the fight (I use the term loosely) broke out between Jean and Eren, neither of us were in the right state or could be bothered to sort it out. Eventually Levi appear and broke them apart, sending the cadets to bed before the mission.

As the soldiers filed out in front of Levi, Hange muttered to me, “Jesus, someone’s grouchier than usual. Maybe he could do with some of this,” gesturing to the bottle hidden in her bag. I began giggling at her remark, which earned me a piercing stare from Levi. Usually, I’d roll my eyes at him, but being on the rather tipsy side, I decided to stare him out; something which Levi did not appreciate. He clicked his tongue in irritation, grabbed his tankard and left in a huff.

“Shitttttt…” I murmur, burying my head in my hands.

“Oh? Trouble in paradise?” Hange slurred, resting her chin on her hand, looking at me inquisitively.

I sigh at her. “We argued before I left, and we haven’t spoken since. I don’t know what to do anymore. And to make it worse, I caught him earlier speaking to Erwin about me not being on the mission.”

“Really? That seems odd. Didn’t think he’d do that.” Hange said curiously.

“I know. Does he think I’m not good enough? I spar just as well as him, and I’m good enough for Levi’s squad when it comes to using the ODM and killing titans. I just don’t understand him. Do you have any ideas?” I say helplessly.

“Well, I probably shouldn’t be telling you anything, and I’m not in the best mind state right now, but I think you should speak to him about how he feels about you.” She says, her head bobbing tiredly as she points a finger lazily towards me, slurs her words once more.

“What do you mean? Hange? Hange!” I shake her but her head is on the table, soft snores emitting from her sleeping form. “Fucks sake.” I mutter, as I prepare myself to shift her. Fortunately, Moblit passed by as I dragged Hange to her room, and apologetically carried her off. But once Moblit left it suddenly hit me how drunk I was, and I realised I needed to go outside to get some fresh air before I hurled in the corridor.

But, apparently I'd used up all my luck for one day, because when I made it outside, I found Levi sat on the floor drinking.

“Tch, what do you want brat?” He said, with an edge of irritation.

My mind flitted back to his conversation with Erwin, and my intoxicated state removed my filter.

“I want you to fucking explain why you fucking went to Erwin and told him to take me off the goddamn mission, you asshole.” I spat at him. Levi looked at me, his eyes wide with surprise and confusion, which melts away once he realised.

“Huh, you were listening in to a private conversation now, were you? Doubt the Commander will be impressed-” Levi started.

“DON’T GIVE ME THAT SHIT, TELL ME WHAT I’VE DONE!” I shout. I realised how worked up I'd become, as Levi stared back at me. In an attempt to control my anger, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I continued. “I don’t understand. I know we didn’t leave things on the best of terms after our… our… you know… mishap… but I don’t know why you’d try to sabotage me… we’ve been so close for so long and I just…” I realised I’d begun crying, and glancing at Levi I saw a mixture of shock and guilt. I was never really one to cry in front of people, but apparently the alcohol had taken hold of me more than I thought. “If you don’t think I’m good enough to be a squad leader, that’s your goddamn opinion, but don’t go influencing others and deliberately try to ruin my career, Levi-”

“I didn’t do it to sabotage your career brat, and you know damn well I think you’re one of the best to ever serve in the Corps. If I thought you were a shit squad leader, do you think I would’ve let you be one without giving you shit constantly?” He asked.

“You do give me shit, Levi, all the fucking time you dick.” I mutter almost childishly with my head dipped low.

Levi sighs, realising how much alcohol I’d had. He knew I could be childish at times, but only when you’d had copious amounts of liquor did I get so emotional and petty. “Tch. Look, you’re drunk brat. Go to bed.” He says sternly.

I merely looked up and huffed, stuck my middle finger up at him and turned round to leave. But I barely got three feet before I stumbled into the wall. I heard a sigh from behind me, and next thing I know I’m being hoisted up bridal style. “You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?” Levi mutters as he carries me down the hall. I stubbornly lie my head on his shoulder, my arms wrapped around his neck, refusing to make eye contact as I’m carried down the hall.

As I reach my room, Levi kicks my door open, leading me through my office to my bed. He drops me rather roughly onto the bed, and chucks the blanket over me. “Sleep, brat. You need to be ready for tomorrow. Can't have you dying before we get to Wall Maria now can we.” He says, turning around to leave.

“Levi?” I say quietly, yet he stops in his tracks without looking back. His silence signals for me to continue. “Do you… do you hate me? Because of how I left things between us?” I ask sleepily, my eyes drooping closed. By the time Levi answers I’ve almost drifted off, but I manage to hear his response.

“(Y/N), I don’t think I could ever hate you. Even if I wanted to.” The sound of his footsteps dwindle away, as I drift off into a deep sleep.


	17. Part 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Spoilers for Season 3 Pt 2 of the anime and the manga's 'Return to Shiganshina' arc.

It was an absolute shit show.

Sat on top of Wall Maria, I stared out across the sea of destruction that once was Shiganshina. The fires were dwindling now, but the smoke was thick in the air, and a few plumes were littered across the former town.

 _So many._ I thought. _So many dead._ In total, only 10 had survived out of the just-over-a-hundred that had set off the day before. My mind was still racing, wondering how many bodies would be salvageable. If any. On one side of the wall, the Colossal Titan’s transformation had turned everyone within range into ash, and on the other, the Beast Titan’s boulders had ripped them to shreds. _This better had been worth it._

I was awoken from my thoughts as Hange walked towards me. “Hey (Y/N), we’re ready to move. Are you ready?” I sighed mentally and rose from where I was sat.

“Yeah, let’s go.” I say, quashing my emotions down as we glided down to the other side of the wall. Only 6 horses had survived the ordeal, which meant we had to wait until Eren was ready to transform again so we could all get home. It wasn’t ideal, but we had to make do with what we had. We’d initially planned to make a cart to get home, but with the amount of destruction from the fire and titans, we’d quickly learned that it would be almost impossible to do so.

We reached the foot of the wall where the others were gathered, and my eyes instantly flicked to the gaze that was piercing me. Levi. Despite all the destruction and chaos, he was always in the forefront of my mind. I knew he was brilliant enough to survive, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t worried. We hadn’t seen each other much during the battle, only interacting once. But it was an interaction I’d never forget.

((Flashback))

Erwin and I stood at the top of the wall, watching the Colossal Titan make his way over to us, slowly but surely, causing wave upon wave of flames.

“This doesn’t look good” I muttered, watching the carnage unfold.

“No. It doesn’t.” The Commander affirmed. But then, as if our worries couldn’t get any worse, loud bangs like cannon fire came from behind us. We both spun around, only to see piles of dead bodies and flattened buildings, with rocks being launched at the front line of houses. Where everyone but the new cadets were situated. Everyone including my team, who I’d sent to the front to help clear up  the smaller titans whilst I informed Erwin of our current situation.

Erwin yelled at the cadets to take cover, but I wasn’t focused on them. _Where is Levi?_ I panicked, my eyes flitting across to see any sign of life. Then, out of the haze I saw a figure rise and fall through the houses, towards the chaos. My fear was relieved momentarily, but then struck me again once I saw the Beast Titan lining up his shot.

“LEVI!!” I screamed instinctively, causing him to look back and realise what was about to happen. He took cover as the next wave hit, hitting any remaining survivors on the front lines. Once the bombardment stopped, I saw the new cadets running to take cover near the wall. “We need to get down there. Now.” I said, jumping off the wall, the Commander following me.

Once we reached the bottom, Levi had already made it back. We all knew there was no saving those at the front, even if there was anyone alive. His eyes locked onto mine and they softened, almost relieved as he held my gaze. Then he flickered away, his neutral expression returning as he masked his emotions once more.

“How’s it looking?” Levi asked.

“Terrible. His throws have destroyed the front line of houses. If he keeps throwing everything will get levelled. We wont have anywhere left to hide.”

“We can’t retreat to the other side of the wall?” Levi queried.

“No,” I said, “the Colossal Titan is already heading this way.”

“Supposing we scale the wall the evade the stones, we’d have to leave the horses. If we retreat here, there’s no hope for victory.” Erwin stated matter-of-factly.

“What happened to Hange’s group? Is Eren alright?” Levi questioned.

“I don’t know. But the majority of them were caught in that explosion. We’ve been dealt a serious blow. The Beast Titan directed the small titans so our soldiers would group up in one place. As such, while engaging them, the squads Dirk, Marlene, Klaus, and most of (Y/N)’s were wiped out.” Erwin analysed.

“In other words, the remaining forces this side of the gate consist of us three and the new recruits.” I said, almost in a whisper.

The screams of the new recruits filled the air as another bombardment hit. I didn’t know what to do. It didn’t seem like any of us did. At that moment, a loud crash appeared from above.

“Is that Eren?” Levi asked, as we all stared at his Titan form sprawled on top of the wall.

 _Shit. So things are just as bad over_ there. As Erwin and Levi conversed, I zoned out. _How were we going to get out of this mess? Like Erwin said, over the wall isn’t an option. We’re sitting ducks here, lambs waiting to be slaughtered._ It was Levi arose me from my thoughts.

“Erwin. If you’re saying we’ve got no chance to counterattack, let’s get ready to flee. Wake Eren sprawled out up there. Ride him and flee with as many people as possible. At least we’ll have some survivors.” Levi said. I let Levi’s words sink in as the cadets argued. One of them was weeping on the floor, whining about our impending death. _We’ve got no chance with these recruits. Especially when they’re crying on the floor._

“What if whoever’s left of the recruits and Hange’s group scatter on horses and try to make it home? By using them as a decoy, you guys could escape on Eren.” Levi suggested. I looked at him when he said ‘you guys’. But before I could speak Erwin beat me to it.

“Levi. What would you do?” Erwin asked him.

“I’m facing the Beast Titan. I’ll draw him away-” 

“Impossible. You won’t even get close.” Erwin told him.

“Probably not.” Levi said, looking towards me. But if you guys and Eren return home alive, there’s still hope.” His gaze flitted back to Erwin. “Isn’t that the best we can ask for at this point?” I stood there, not believing what Levi was saying. He was going to sacrifice himself. I was at a loss for words. I couldn’t do it. Let him go. Not like this. “I doubt a single one of us is making it back alive.” he said, looking at me, his eyes filled with remorse and something else that I couldn’t decipher.

“Yes. Assuming we had no way to counterattack.”

Levi and I shot our heads towards him.

“Are you joking? You let him stand there and say all that shit, and you had a plan this whole time?” I said in disbelief.

“Why didn’t you open your shitty mouth?” Levi seethed.

Erwin filled us in on his plan, and it would be a devastating blow to the Corps, if it worked or not. It would take all the recruits lives to secure victory, including mine and Erwin’s. Levi would use the Titans surrounding the Beast Titan to sneak close and kill him. Erwin insisted on leading the charge, giving up his dream to see the basement. When telling the new recruits, the fear in their eyes was undeniable. Only Erwin could convince them to give their lives. And I guess we would all be following him.

As I saddled up my horse, preparing for the charge, I glanced at Levi. _I need to say something. This is the last time I’ll ever see him._ My mind flashed back to my moments with Levi, to meeting him, training with him, to our first kiss. But also to our argument, and our lost time. I couldn’t let things end without patching things up.

But as I made my way towards him, an arm stopped me.

“Not you, (Y/N).” Erwin said.

“W-what do you mean, sir?” I questioned, confused by his statement.

“You’re not going on the charge. I need you to take the remaining horses and tie them up somewhere relatively safe, then go see the situation on the other side. If there is anyone left alive, they’ll need some back up.” he said unwavering.

“But sir…”

“No (Y/N). You’re not dying today. It would be too much.” he said, leaving me dumbfounded. _Too much, what is he on about?_ “Head to the bottom of the wall with Levi, and when the charge begins head up the wall. It should be clear of rocks then." He paused momentarily, looking at me almost with pride. "Farewell, (Y/N). Look after him.” He said with a solemn smile, and he turned to round up the rest of the recruits.  _I'm... not dying? Well, that's not certain at this point, but he's giving me the opportunity to live. Why me? Out of everyone, why me?_

I decided now wasn't the time to think about it. We were still at war, and I needed to concentrate. Once I collected my thoughts, I turned round to see Levi looking at me once again, his expression unreadable. “Come on, brat. We need to move.” he told me. Gathering up the horses, I followed him closely behind.

Upon reaching the wall, I tied up the horses in a sheltered area, and returned to Levi who was staring wistfully into the distance. Silence fell between us as we waited for the signal. I noticed my hands were trembling out of fear, but not fear for me. After some time, I began to speak.

“Levi, look…”

But I was cut off by a soft pair of lips on mine. Initially, I was shocked, but then a fire lit beneath me and I returned his kiss with passion, ringing my fingers into his raven locks as he pulled me closer. The kiss wasn’t long, but we managed to express our feelings for each other in the short space of time we were connected. His eyes searched mine, and I felt his vulnerability, his soul bare in front of me, a rarity for the man who spent his life trying to conceal his emotion from the world.

We released each other, yet our eyes never left one another’s. Until we heard the screams from Erwin’s charge. The signal. I turned away reluctantly and readied my ODM.

“(Y/N).” Levi’s words cut through the air, and I turned to face him one last time. “Don’t die. We’re not done yet.”

I felt my eyes fill up, and I smiled softly. “Damn right we’re not.” I said, before turning and making my way up the wall, leaving him behind. _We’re definitely not done yet._

((Present time))

His gaze was filled with worry and emotion, questioning me as I made my way to my horse. I gave him a small nod for reassurance, and he looked away warily. We both knew how close we’d come to death, and he was right, I wasn’t ok. But none of us were. We just witnessed our friends and family be slaughtered, and we were the unlucky ones who had to live with that pain. But we keep on fighting.

Deep down I knew Levi would be questioning his decision to save Armin. He admired Erwin, his devotion was undeniable, yet he knew Erwin wouldn’t have wanted it. So he let him go. I could see the pain and conflict in his eyes, slight cracks forming in is façade.

On making my way to my horse, my hand brushed his. The action seemed to surprise him, but also bring him back from inside his head. He wasn’t alone. I was there, right beside him. And I wasn’t planning on leaving any time soon. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone! This will be (I think) the last one where I use the actual storyline, but I felt I needed to ground my story a bit more so decided to use this event to do it.   
> Comments are appreciated, a big thank you to those who do leave comments, they mean a lot so thank you and keep them coming!!


End file.
